Living Life Alone
by katherinebrittin
Summary: Janet Scott has recently found herself single and looking after her two kids and mother. Being the secretive person Janet is she isn't planning on telling anyone about what has happened until a drunken night struck. She confides in work colleagues Rachel Bailey, Gill Murray and Andy Roper to help her though it all.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

It had been awhile since Janet Scott had to live alone. After being married twenty five years she had got used to life a certain way, now her husband has left she has to readjust to life as it was before, well as much as she could with two children, a house and a job all needing her attention. A couple of months ago Janet was stabbed by her friends brother; he also killed his sister Veronica when she was little. This is something Janet has had to come to terms with. Since that day things haven't been going to well for the Scott family.  
A few hours previous; the now quiet house was something you wouldn't expect from the Scott household. Shouting and screaming at each other, with no concern of the time or anyone around them, the married couple argued. Taisie and Elise were sitting in the kitchen as their Father walked in, took the car keys and walked out. They looked at each other '_Where are you going dad?_' Taisie asked. '**OUT**' Adrian Scott shouted back. The front door slams. Janet quickly runs to the front door, opens it, shouts at him again. From the kitchen the girls couldn't hear much of the argument as it was towards the back of the house. From what they heard there mother had said _'...and never come back'_ although they couldn't be sure. During Janet and Ade's argument the girls had been sitting in the kitchen listening to every word. They tried not to but it was difficult as it was so loud.  
Janet returned to house a little flushed in the face and shaking a bit. Taisie and Elise looked at her. Elise asked her '_What just happened, mum?'_ Janet didn't reply straight away. She looked down, a few moments later she looked back up. Elise opened her mouth to ask again when Janet said _'Your dad has just gone away for while, he needs to sort something out. Could you two please go to bed?'_ Janet sighs. '_I need some time alone.'_ The girls kissed Janet goodnight and went upstairs to bed. Janet got herself a glass and a bottle and walked into the living room. This was the room where most of the arguments took place between the couple. The room looked different now, almost lifeless. It was silent and calm, a contrast to how it was before.  
It was 9:30pm and Janet was sitting in the living room with a big glass of red wine. She picked up her phone and texted Rachel '_Rach, are you busy? If you are its fine, if you aren't can you please come round or call me. I need to talk to someone._' A few moments later she got a reply but it wasn't from who she expected. It was Andy Roper a Detective Sergeant with the MIT, a man who she didn't really speak to often at work but one Christmas party went back to his place and could have possibly had sex, although Janet doesn't fully remember as she was pissed out of her head, or so that's what she tells Rachel Bailey who is the only other person, apart from Andy who knows about the whole thing. And that's how she wants to keep it; she doesn't want people to know all her business.  
She looks at her phone again; she was looking for Rachel's text. Instead of Rachel replying it was Andy. By this time Janet had easily consumed about three bottles of red wine, which in her head was nothing after the day she had just had. The text said '_Janet what's wrong? Why are you texting me, you never normally want to talk to me. I know this was meant for Rachel but I'm not busy. If you want to talk to someone you can always talk to me._' Janet laughed and replied _'Sure come round if you want, I've got some wine and we can talk over that._' Straight away Janet got a text '_I'll be round in a minute'_.  
A few minutes had passed since Janet received the text. There was a knock at the door. Janet arose from where she was sprawled across the sofa. She looked in the mirror, flattened her hair, pulled her trousers up and her top down, she then downed the rest of the red wine from her glass and removed the smile that it had created. She hobbled out of the living room and staggered to the front door. Andy was standing there with a paper bag over his head to stop the rain from getting him wet. He handed Janet a bottle of wine which was obviously meant to go into the paper bag but due to the weather got used to keep him dry. It had been evident to Andy that Janet had been drinking and crying. Her face was bright red with swollen eyes, to Andy this was usually the sign that someone had been crying. '_What's happened to you?_' Janet replies '_Oh nothing, I'm perfectly fine_.' Janet half smiles and gestures for Andy to walk through to the kitchen; he stared at her for awhile, as if he was waiting for her to say something. Instead she just half smiled and let out a big sigh; he followed what he had been told and walked into the kitchen. Janet closed the front door and wobbled slowly behind him. She walked into the kitchen and closed the door behind her.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

In the kitchen the Scott family had many different cupboards, one was specifically for glasses. Janet reached up to cupboard and pulled out two big wine glasses, she had left her other one in the living room and couldn't be bothered to go and get it. Andy by this time had taken a seat at the dining room table, taken the bottle which was meant to be in the paper bag and placed it on the table, walked to the bin and put the paper bag in it. 'Have you got a corkscrew Janet?' Andy smiles. Janet places the two glasses on the table next to Andy and went to the cutlery draw where she was hoping to find a spare corkscrew as her other one was with the glass, and like the glass she couldn't be bothered to go and get it. Janet found the spare corkscrew. She took it over to Andy. Andy looked at her and smiled 'are you gonna take a seat now?' Janet sat.  
With the new bottle of wine opened and having Janet and Andy in the perfect position to talk (opposite) to each other Andy dived in with the question. 'So what's wrong Janet? Has something happened?' At first Janet was a little reluctant to answer. She put her head down. All Andy could see was Janet's back was jumping. She looked up; she had tears rolling down her face with mascara which slowly trickled down. 'Oh Janet, please don't cry. Tell me what's wrong.' Janet took a sip of her drink, swallowed and sighed. 'Ade is gone and he's not coming back.' Janet looks away. Andy's face was in shock. 'Why is he gone? You were getting on fine at your 25th wedding anniversary party. What's happened?' This time Janet took a huge gulp of her wine, such a big gulp that the glass was almost empty. 'Things have just gone wrong recently. We were getting along fine and then it just changed. Tonight he had enough of us arguing all the time, which caused an argument. Then he left. I most probably didn't help the situation as I told him to piss off and to never come back.' She puts her head in her hands 'What have I done? This is my fault. I shouldn't have treating him that way, he didn't do anything wrong. I always do this, push people away.'  
Andy looked at Janet. He had never seen her like this. 'I'm sure you've done nothing wrong, not that I can see anyway...' He leans over the wipe her cheek '...you don't need to cry you silly bugger. Just talk to people when you feel like this.' Janet smiles at Andy and he smiles back. For Andy this was a new experience. He never thought you would see the woman he secretly loved in such a state. He knew at this point he had to do something.  
It was obvious to Andy that Janet had had a lot of alcohol before he had arrived. 'Erm Janet, how much wine have you actually had?' Janet points towards the sink. Andy looked over and he could see three bottles of red wine lined up. He took the bottle that he had brought and poured it down the sink. 'I think we have had enough of this stuff. Do you want a coffee, or a tea?' He looked at Janet with a face of desperation. Janet looked at him nodded and smiled. 'I will have a coffee thank you, I will make it and you take a seat.'  
Janet lifts herself from the table and walks over to the line of cupboards. First she went over to the mug cupboard; this was located next to the kettle, which made sense. She then took two mugs down. 'What is it that you want?' she asked. Andy wasn't sure if the question was asking about the drink or about why he came round. He said 'Coffee please.' Janet got a spoon and put some coffee into two mugs. She looked at him and turned back to the coffee in the cups 'Now I know what you want, why did you really come? You don't usually show any concern?' She turned and looked at him. 'It's not like we are the closest of friends, we hardly talk and when we do it's only about work. Why do you care so much?' She poured the boiled water from the kettle into the mugs.  
With the coffee made and the wine gone all that they could do was talk. This was something new for Janet as she was not used to talking about how she feels and what's wrong with her. After having two children she could no longer care for just herself, she had two new lives she was responsible for. Andy held his mug with both hands 'Janet, seriously what's wrong? Something is bothering you, it has been for awhile.' Janet looked at him and shrugged. 'I'm just tired.' She half smiled towards Andy. 'Tired of what? You can talk to me. I'm not going to say anything.' He looked at her in a sympathetic way 'Why won't you tell me what's wrong?' Janet's face looked agitated 'Can we just drop it? It's not important; I need to sort it out myself. There isn't anything anyone can do to help me. I'm fine, I've lived with it for this long I don't see what difference it's going to make.' She took a drink of her coffee.  
'You haven't told anyone about the Christmas party have you?' Janet casually asked. Andy shook his head. Janet smiled and said 'I've only told Rach, she's not going to tell anyone.' Andy looked at her and frowned. 'What? Did I say something wrong?' She asked. Andy swallowed 'You told Rachel Bailey? Why did you tell her? She doesn't need to know.' Janet interrupted with a louder tone 'Actually, Rach does need to know, she's my friend. Also Ade asked her what happened when I stayed round hers the night of the Christmas party. She knows I stayed at yours, I rang her up drunk.'  
Janet at this stage appears to have sobered up. 'What time is it now?' she asks. Andy looks at his watch 'It's 2:49am; I really should get going as we've got work in less than 5 hours. I will see you in the morning; if you want to talk I'm always free.' Janet looked at him and smiled 'Thank you Andy, I really appreciate it. I will see you in the morning.' They get up from the table, take the mugs to the sink and leave the kitchen. Janet opens the front door and sees Andy out 'Thank you for coming Andy. It's been nice. Sorry for being like this though'. Andy turns back and kisses Janet on the forehead. The kiss didn't last very long and his lips barely touched her skin.  
Janet closes the door. The house is silent. She is now alone, again.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

*BUZZ* Janet's alarm went off. She woke up and the room felt like it was spinning around her. She looked next to her and there was an empty space from where Adrian would usually sleep. The space was untouched, it hadn't been moved in anyway. This was due to Janet being so drunk from the night before that she just passed out across the bed. She was still in the clothes from the night before. She walked over to the bathroom, put her hands on the side of the sink and looked into the mirror 'I look so rough.' She said to herself. She rubbed her head with one hand and her nose with the other. Janet undressed and turned the shower on. She held her stomach and looked at her scar. A bolt of pain rushed to the spot, she let out a little groan. She got into the shower and just stood there letting the water hit her back. She thought to herself 'What happened last night? I know Andy came round, I don't remember anything else. Oh no, we didn't. I'm sure we didn't. That was only one time. I need to talk to him when I go into work.'  
With the shower now over and Janet had some clothes on from her wardrobe she decided to go downstairs. In the kitchen there was Taisie and Elise. They were sitting at the table having there breakfast. Janet walked in and saw the amount of bottles on the side, she was horrified. She rubbed her head again. 'Sensitive head there mum?' Elise asked. Janet nods. 'Well maybe you shouldn't drink so much on a work night.' Taisie said sarcastically and laughs. Janet gives a look as if to say 'ha, you're so funny love. Shut up now, okay?' instead she says 'Good one there love.' She wonders over to the fridge to get some milk, she gets sight on the clock, 'Oh shhh... I've got to go girls I'm going to be late if I don't go now. Grandma will be down in about 15 minutes. Make sure you are ready for her.' Janet grabs the empty wine bottles, her coat and bag and her car keys. The door slams behind her the there is the sound of her throwing the bottles into the recycling.  
On her drive to work she takes her phone and begins to dial Rachel's number. She pushes the phone between her ear and her shoulder as she turns a corner. 'Pick up, pick up, please pick up' She whispers to herself. Rachel picks up the phone. 'Hello Janet. Where are you? We've started already. I've had to make up a load of rubbish how you were sorting something out for the girls. *Rachel whispers down the phone* what happened to you last night? I got this drunken text saying you were with Andy, he's looking at me now and he looks well proud of himself. Nothing happened between you two right?' Janet blinks slowly 'To be honest Rach I have no idea what happened. I will tell you all about it when I get to work. Please apologise to everyone. I should be there in about 2 minutes.' Janet hangs up and throws her phone at the back seat.  
Once Janet stops the car in the car park she grabs her bag, coat and takes the keys out of the ignition. She gets out and slams the car door then locks it. She runs into work, shows her ID and enters the security code for the door. Sitting around the table there was Gill, Andy, Rachel, Mitch, Kevin and the rest of the MIT. 'Sorry I'm late, had to sort something out with Taisie.' Andy looks at her and smirks. 'Okay, take a seat. Now Janet is here, Andy could you fill us in.' Gill said looking at Janet as if to think 'I know exactly why you are late, you still look half drunk.' Janet sits there rubbing her head as Andy explains the case to everyone. Rachel glanced over at Janet. To Rachel, Janet looked ill. She looked pale, tired and her eyes were abnormally red and puffy, not like that they usually are like.  
Once the meeting was over they all headed over to office. Janet went into the toilet and Rachel shortly followed. 'Janet, what is wrong with you? You were late, you look like death and I'm sure there is something on your mind. What's wrong?' Janet didn't know what to reply. She didn't want to tell Rachel the big secret that the night before her husband had left her and she had drank her entire body weight in wine. In Janet and Rachel's relationship Rachel is usually the one who would drink the amount Janet did and Janet would be the responsible one who would look after Rachel when she was in that state. Janet couldn't tell her what happened as that would make her look like the irresponsible one.  
Janet replied to the question with 'I'm fine Rach, I just didn't get a good night sleep last night then when I did get to sleep I over slept and I'm not feeling too well at the moment. Stress I guess.' She then nods and smiles 'Yeah, its stress. I will be fine, I promise.' Rachel was ready to answer back when Gill walked in. For Janet, this was hell. All she wanted was for the floor to open up and swallow her whole. Like Rachel, Gill asked the same question 'What's wrong? You look awful and you were late. It looks like you've been crying.' 'That's because I have been, for hours in fact. I look awful because of all the crying and most probably the amount of alcohol I had last night.' Janet thought to herself. Instead she just said 'I'm fine Gill, something happened at home which needed my attention. I just don't feel too well.' Rachel as Gill both looked at each other and then at Janet. 'Really, are you sure you are okay? If you aren't you can tell us, we will try and help. Has something happened at home?' Rachel asked with a concerned tone.  
At this point Janet was already surrounded by so much she really didn't want to talk about it any longer. 'Look, I'm fine. I just had a rough night and I'm run down. I had a drink last night; it made me feel better at the time, not anymore.' Gill's phone began to ring. She picks up 'Hello...yeah...uh huh...okay...I will be right up.' She hangs up. 'Sorry ladies I have to go, we will continue this conversation later.' She walks out. Janet turns to face the mirrors about the sink. She grabs the sink and leans over it. She looks in the mirror. Rachel asks 'What's happened Jan? Something obviously has, you look like you've been crying and you are hung over!' Still leaving over the sink Janet replies 'that's because I have Rach, I have...' she begins to cry '...been fucking crying, oh and I drank a lot. All alone, all by myself as it will be from now on.' Janet closes her eyes; the realisation of what she had just said hit her. 'Ignore what I just said, please...' she sniffs and grabs some tissue'... for now at least. I will tell you when I am ready.' Rachel puts her arms out to offer Janet a hug. Janet takes her up on the offer and squeezes Rachel tightly. 'I've been so stupid' she whispers to herself.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

After the toilet trip Janet and Rachel went into the office. As Janet walked in she was blowing her nose into a piece of tissue. Andy noticed the red eyes, like the night before. He mouthed '_Are you_ _alright?_' Janet looked confused. '_What?_' she mouthed back. Gill came out of her office. '_Janet, can we please have a quick word?_' Janet gets up from her desk and enters Gills office. '_Right, so after that little episode in the toilet I came into the office and there was a knock at the door. Andy walked in and asked what was wrong with you. I said you were just tired and all that, then he left. What's happened to you Jan? Something is wrong. You're just not telling us. You've obviously told Andy because normally he doesn't normally notice anything like that around here. Yeah he loves you but he doesn't usually care._' Janet stares at Gill and says '_Last night something did happen. I'm not going to go into details about it if you don't mind. All I can say is I had...way too much to drink because of it. I thought I texted Rach and it turns out I texted...Andy. He came round, we had a drink together. We talked about what happened and then he left. That's why I was late and why I'm not well. I have a banging head ache. Is that a good enough explanation to you? Are you satisfied with that?'_  
Gill was speechless '_First of all, what could have been so bad for you to drink the amount you did and second, why didn't you come to me?' _she sounded hurt and concerned at the same time.

Janet looked at Gill; she didn't know what to say. '_I didn't want to come to you because it's not that important and you've seemed really busy recently that I didn't want to bother you over something as small as this.'_ Her eyes began to water up. _'No Janet don't, I don't want you to ever feel like that you can't come to be because I'm busy. You are my friend, a friend of 20 years in fact. You should know me well enough to know that I would do anything for you.'_ Janet smiles weakly. _'Thanks Gill, as much as I appreciate this there isn't anything anyone can do, only I can sort this out, unfortunately.' _Gills phone begins to ring. Janet mouths to her '_I will talk to you later.' _Gill nods and waves her goodbye. Janet opens the door, steps out and closes it behind her quietly.

What Janet didn't know is that Andy was standing behind her when she closed the door. She turns around and jumps. _'Andy, you shouldn't do that to people. It almost gave me a heart attack' _She laughs to herself. Andy leans in and whispers into her ear _'Are you alright? This morning when you came in you looked really ill and rather pissed off. I saw you go into the toilet with Rachel and you come out with red eyes like last night. And just now, you got called into Gills office.' _Janet faces Andy_ 'Look Andy, I'm alright now. Last night I was just really drunk. I was crying in the toilet to Rach over something completely different and Gill wanted to talk to me about Geoff Hastings. You should stop worrying about me so much. I'm fine, honestly.' _Andy replied quickly and in a snappy tone _'I don't believe you.' _She looked at him, with a face of disgust _'Well that's your problem then isn't it? Not mine. So just drop it!'_

It was now time for Janet and Rachel to go out and tell the family. Whilst Janet is driving she says _'Rachel? What is it that we are meant to be doing? I wasn't really to Andy this morning when he was telling us.' _She looks at Rachel with look of question. Rachel laughs and shakes her head _'I'm surprised you get dressed so well this morning. Basically someone found a badly burned body of a disabled man up in a part of Manchester and a few days later another body is discovered. As for us we are going to see the family and ask them some questions.'_ From Janet's face it was easy for Rachel to see that she was listening but not with full attention. _'Oh Jan, why won't you tell me what's wrong?'_ Janet denies the fact that anything is wrong. _'I don't know what you are talking about I'm perfectly fine.'_


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

She didn't know what to do. Everyone seemed to be so concerned about her. She didn't want to tell anyone about her secret about her personal life but she could see that people were beginning to notice.  
It had been about a week since Adrian Scott had left Janet. They hadn't had any contact with each other. Janet decided it was time that someone knew the truth, but who could she go to? Gill is always too busy that Janet didn't want to bother her. Andy already knows so there isn't much point in talking to him. She isn't that close to Mitch or Kevin, so the only people she can go to is Rachel.  
Andy was away for a few days so Janet could talk without him thinking anything.  
On her way to work Janet was practising what she was going to say to Rachel, whilst she was saying it anyone could have seen by the way she was looking that she was in fact still upset. She began talking to herself _'See what you've done now you stupid woman, everything was going alright between you too. __**Why did you have to ruin it for yourself?**__'_ she begins to get angry at herself_ 'You could have chased after him and asked for him to come back. Instead you just shove him away and tell him to piss off and ever come back. You've now got to sort it out the best you can.' _She looks in the screen mirror. It looks like she hasn't slept all week; she looks pale, and her eyes look sunken with huge black bags under her eyes.  
Janet arrives at work.  
In the office Janet's desk is opposite Rachel's. Janet takes her seat at her desk and sets to work. Rachel looks at her as if she wanted to talk to her. Rachel sends Janet a text '_Hello Jan, do you want to go for a drink later? Like during lunch?' _Janet's phone goes off. She reaches into her bag and gets her phone out. She looks as Rachel over her computer. She nods and texts '_I need to tell you something. I've wanted to tell you for awhile but I haven't known what to say. I just need to get it off my chest. Andy knows, I will explain everything when we go out.' _ Janet could see from Rachel's face that she was concerned and was thinking about what Janet may say. Her phone goes off again _'Okay. It's nothing serious is it?' _Janet smiles and shakes her head. Rachel had a sigh of relief and smiled back.  
It was a quiet day in the office, not much had really happened. Having Andy gone it made things easier for Janet in a way; she now won't have anyone constantly looking over her back. Janet and Andy weren't exactly the closest of friends. They would pass words on occasion; well only when work was involved. They used to be good friends when they were both training to be in the police. Now that Andy knows all about Janet and Adrian he's trying to talk to her a lot more; texts, emails, phone calls, answer messages. The other day Janet got home to find an answer massage. Luckily the girls weren't in. No one else knows what the message said and Janet isn't planning on telling anyone what was said. She deleted it as soon as the message had finished.  
Its now lunch time and Rachel and Janet were heading off to the local café, they picked up their bags, put their coats on and got into Janet's car.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

'_So Janet, what's wrong? What did you want to talk to me about?' _Janet and Rachel are sitting in a café around the corner from the office. They have got a cup of coffee each and two empty plates. _'Ade walked out on us last week' _Janet looks at her coffee cut and her eyes begin to water. Rachel was shocked. This was something new to her, she had never witnessed Janet act like this. _'Janet, I'm so sorry. Why didn't you tell me?' _Rachel reaches across to grab her Janet's hand. Janet began to shake her head _'I thought I was fine with it, I thought no one would notice anything wrong with me. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, it just didn't seem that important. We've always got work getting in the way. I tried to text you the night it happened but I accidently sent it to Andy instead. He knows everything.'_ Janet lets out a small whimper and her back begins to shake _'It's my fault. I could_ _have stopped him from walking out; I could have told you and not kept it such a secret from everyone. I'm so sorry Rach' _Rachel begins to comfort her friend.  
_'Its fine, I think everyone noticed something was up. You haven't been yourself recently. You've been closed down and always seem to be tired. I guess I noticed something was wrong that day you came in late. I asked what was wrong that day but I just left you the other days, I wanted to give you peace.'_ Janet looks up at Rachel. _'Look at me, I'm a mess. I'm looking after the girls just fine but I can't look after myself. I haven't been sleeping to well; you know getting to sleep really late then waking up throughout the night and really early in the morning. I have no motivation to do anything anymore. I'm sure this phase will soon pass. I didn't know I was being so obvious.' _She shook her head and took a drink from her coffee.  
She looks at her cup. Rachel could see the tears rolling down her face, the desperation and tiredness in her voice. She felt bad as she knew there wasn't anything she could really do to properly help her friend. Rachel began to speak _'Do you know what I think you need? Some time off to relax and time to get yourself back on track. This can't be easy for you or the girls. If there is anything I can do to help I will try my hardest to help you the best I can. You know what, come and stay with me for a couple of days. It will do you some good to get out of the house and out of your bedroom.'_ Rachel gave a reassuring smile towards Janet. Janet looked up to Rachel after staring at her cup for awhile. _'That would be lovely Rach, thank you so much. I can get my mum to look after the girls. I will tell her that we've got a case on which requires us to work really late into the night.' _She smiles at Rachel as if to say thank you.  
In Rachel's eyes Janet was her best friend. Rachel's relationship with Gill can be on and off in terms of the way they speak to each other. As for Andy, he hates Rachel and he isn't afraid to show his feelings towards her. Janet was different from all the others, she always had been. From day one Janet had been there for Rachel, she stuck up for her and everything. She once even risked her own job for Rachel, which is one reason why she is fond of Janet, not everyone would have done that for her. When Janet was stabbed a few months ago Rachel was there for her like Janet had been all those times before. Rachel felt like it was her duty to help her best friend when she needed her the most. Janet took her in and its Rachel felt like it was her turn to repay the favour.  
On the way back to work after that emotional lunch Rachel asked Janet a question _'Jan, you know I would do anything for you right?'_ Janet looked over at Rachel and back to the road. She replied with a simple _'Yeah of course.'_ By her tone it was obvious that she was concentrating more on the road then the actual question being asked. _'No I mean I would do anything for you. You've helped me so much over the last year and I worry that I don't do anything in return to show you what I would do for you.' _Janet was now listening fully. _'Oh you are a silly bugger. Rach, you have to understand I don't mind doing those things for you. You are my best friend. I would do anything for you and don't even have to ask as I wouldn't think twice whilst I was doing it. You don't have to do anything for me to show anything. When that bastard Geoff Hastings stabbed me you were the first one there by my side and keeping me safe. That is all I could ever ask from a friend. So you have no reason to worry.'_ Rachel looked deep into Janet's blue eyes. _'Janet Scott I really do love you.' _They both smile at each other. Janet puts the CD on in the car. Lady Gaga began to play. Rachel laughed at said _'I would never be able to tell who has been in this car.' _Janet smiled _'Taisie, she was in here the other day, I was driving her to drama after school.' _They drove into the car park at work, got out the car and took all their things with them.  
Now that Janet had got that off her chest she felt a lot better. Now she only had to tell Gill and everyone she wanted to know would know.  
_'Back to work' _Janet thought to herself.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

***Scott house phone rings***_ 'Sorry we aren't in at the moment, please leave your name and phone number after the beep and we will return your call as soon as possible' _***BEEP***_'Hello? Mum? Can you pick up if you are home? I'm going to be staying at Rachel's for a little bit. The case at the moment requires both of us to be up early and go to bed late. I will tell the girls and come home for some of my stuff. I was wondering if you wouldn't mind staying at home and looking after the girls whilst I am at Rachel's. Right, that's about it, I will ring in a few hours and I will see you later.'  
'Any luck?'_ Rachel asks Janet as Janet hangs up the phone and puts it back in her bag. Janet shakes her head _'No, I don't think she is in. She may be taking Taisie to drama or something. I will try again later. I don't really need permission I just need to make sure someone can look after the girls. If mum can't I may have to ask Ade.' _Janet looks annoyed. _'Rach, why did I have to go and ruin it all? Why couldn't I have just been happy with what I had?' _Rachel looks sympathetically at Janet. _'Jan, you didn't know what was going to happen. You didn't ruin anything; you were just telling him how you felt weren't you? You didn't tell him about Andy did you?'_ Janet glances at Rachel and does a half smile.  
_'I felt like something bad was going to happen, I just didn't know what. He obviously didn't want to hear how I felt. Things were going downhill for a while. Of course I haven't told him about Andy that would just be stupid.' _Janet could see Rachel nodding as if to say _'I agree with you completely.' _  
The office was empty. Gill was in her office on the phone to someone who she was expecting to ring; apparently it was very a very important phone call, at least that's what Gill said. She stood up and closed the door with her foot, through the window Janet and Rachel could see the phone pushed between her ear and shoulder. Andy was away for a few days. Kevin, Mitch and the rest of the team were on a different case to Rachel and Janet. They were out from the office and would be for a couple of hours. So the office was just Janet and Rachel.  
_'So later, do you want me to go home with you to collect your things? Then we can go to the pub or go back to mine for some food. I'm a surprisingly good cook.' _Janet did look surprised; she had never really tried Rachel's food. _'If you want to, the girls would love to see you. I swear they like you more then they like each other. I don't mind what we do, as long as we are alone. I haven't told anyone else, well apart from Andy about anything. Everyone else doesn't know what to say to me. Even Gill has kept her distance.' _Janet looks over to Gills office. _'But its fine, she most probably has a lot going on, like she usually does.' _Janet sighs.  
About 45 minutes had passed and Gill came out of her office. She got a tissue and blew her nose. _'Where's everyone else?' _she asked. _'They are all out on the job. Are you alright Gill? You look a little, you know, like you have been crying.' _Gill nods and walks back into her office ***SLAM*** the door shuts behind her. Janet rises from her chair and walks up to her door, just before she knocks Rachel whispers _'Jan, tell me what happens later. That is if it isn't too private.' _Janet nods and puts her finger to her lips. She lightly knocks on Gills door _'Gill its Janet, can I come in?' _She stands there and waits for a reply. _'Yeah okay, hang on. Let my sort myself out.' _Janet is left standing there for a few minutes when the door opens. Janet walks in and the door closes. Gill is standing behind the door with big red puffy eyes and tears running down her face and she was trying to catch her breath.  
_'Oh Gill what's happened to you?' _Gill goes up to Janet and pulls her close. She begins to sob into Janet's shoulder. _'Gill, what is it?' _Gill steps away from Janet and takes a seat behind her desk. Janet sits opposite her.  
Gill picks up a pen off her desk and begins to fiddle with it. _'It's just a little difficult at the moment. I've got so much pressure at the moment. Dave is being a dickhead as usual, nothing I can't handle. As for Sammy, he's just growing up. He's got himself a lovely girlfriend and he's doing really well at school. I've just missed so much of his life. Now that I look after him by myself I can see how much I've missed of his life. He's learning to drive at the moment. I've said if he does well in his exams I will get him a car. That wanker Dave is trying to take him from me by saying he will get him a car. Dave wasn't there for Sammy when he was younger, work was always more important.' _She puts her head up and looks at Janet. Janet looked at Gill and frowns. _'That's awful. Sammy isn't stupid. I'm sure he can see what Dave is doing. Sammy loves you and won't do anything to hurt you in any way. I think he would rather wait and get it from you as you care more.' _Janet gives a reassuring smile. Gill smiles back _'This is so stupid, I'm just being silly.'_ Janet reaches over the Gills hand _'You aren't. I know exactly how you feel.' _Janet sighs.  
Gill dries her face and blows her nose again. She looks at Janet and says _'Yeah, I noticed something was up. What's happened? It's not your mum is it?'_ Janet shakes her head_ 'the girls?' _She shakes her head again _'Ade?' _Janet hesitates what Gill mentions his name. Gill picks up on this. _'Janet, has something happened between you and Ade?' _Janet nods _'We are sorting it out. It's nothing serious. We are all fine. Can we not talk about it; I don't really want anyone to know.' _Gill looks at her and says _'Of course. Is there anything I can do?' _Janet sighs _'Unfortunately not. No one can. Thank you for offering though.' _***RING RING* **Gills phone begins to ring. Janet gets up and mouths _'I will let you take that. Thank you' _Janet walks out the room and closes the door.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

'_What was that all about?' _Rachel asks Janet as she leans up against Gill's office door. Janet looks up and sighs _'It's nothing really. I think she is just stressed about everything at the moment, Sammy and that bastard Dave. It's all getting to her. She's just a little over stressed and I think tired.' _Janet walks over to her desk and sits down. Rachel looks at her and half smiles _'Jan, are you feeling alright? You look really ill and tired.' _Janet nods and says _'I'm fine. Just a little tired to be honest. What time is it' _Rachel looked at Janet with a concerned face; she was frowning and then looked at her watch. _'Are you sure you are okay? What time did you wake up this morning? Oh it's 4:48.' _Janet began to become distressed _'I'm fine; I got up at about 4ish. I couldn't sleep to well last night. I haven't been sleeping well all week. Right okay, that's fine. What time do you want to go?' _Rachel looked over to Janet. _'Oh okay. Well it depends on when you want to go home and if you want to go to the pub or just stay in.'  
'At 6 I will go home, the girls will be so happy to see you. Then we can go to the pub around the corner from you and then go back you yours and have some dinner.' _Both Janet and Rachel got back to work. Gill came out of her office and went to the toilet. She pointed at Janet to come with her. Janet gestured to Rachel to stay where she was and she will tell her when they get in the car. Janet rushes behind Gill and goes into the toilet. Gill was sitting in the cubical closest to the hand dryer. The door was wide open. _'Jan, I'm sorry about what just happened. I'm never normally like this. You know that don't you? I appreciate for you caring so much but I don't want you to think that something is wrong with me when really it's nothing serious, I'm just being stupid, but thank you anyway.' _Janet smiled and walked up to Gill and crouched in front of her _'Gill, you have no reason to apologise. You've done nothing wrong, you are only being human. I would be more worried if you weren't like this. I would be the same in your position. Seriously nothing has happened that I don't understand. I just want you to be okay. Knowing you for about 25 years I can tell when something is wrong. Are you alright now?' _Janet looked at Gill and Gill looks down in embarrassment. _'I'm fine now thank you, I really appreciate it. So what's going on with you at home? Something is wrong; it has been for about a week. I noticed just didn't say anything because I didn't want to bother you.'_ Janet smiles at Gill _'Honestly I'm fine. Nothing I can't handle. I've been through a lot worse, I can get through this. The girls are fine with what is happening. Its only short term, plus I'm staying round Rachel's tonight. She is concerned about me. I've told her I am fine but she won't listen to me.' _Gill looks at Janet and looks as though she is ready to question what she just said. _'Knowing you as I do know you, you aren't yourself at the moment. It's not that you won't want to talk about it. I just want you to know you can come to me if anything happens. I don't want you to think work is more important.' _  
Janet smiles and nods towards Gill. _'Thank you. Like I said I'm fine.' _She half smiles.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

***PHONE VIBRATES***Janet looks at her phone. _'Hello Janet. I hope you are okay. I'm away for a couple of days on a case that I am currently working at. I just wanted to check to see if everything is alright with you and the girls. I should be back sometime later this week. We can catch up then if you want? Unless you don't want to then that's fine. I hope you are feeling better over that has happened. I will see you soon and enjoy the rest of your day.'_ Janet looks at Rachel _'I just got a text from Andy, he never normally texts me.' _Rachel laughs _'What does that thing want?'_ _'He just wants to make sure I am okay. He's being quite sweet actually; I don't see why you don't like him. Yeah he can be a little arrogant but he's harmless really.' _Janet gives a reassuring smile.  
Rachel and Andy's relationship has never been too good. It's not that they don't get on well it's just they don't really pay that much attention to each other. If Janet and Rachel are together and Andy comes to talk to them he will always talk to Janet and never notice Rachel is even there until he leaves the conversation and gives her a quick nod goodbye.  
Janet looks at her phone _'Rach, what should I reply? Should I say I'm fine and thank him for taking time out to ask me?' _Rachel isn't properly listening as she is busy looking at her finger nails _'Yeah sure thing Jan, do whatever you want.'_ Janet knows Rachel wasn't listening and she just smiles and shakes her head. She creates a new message and begins to think about that to send. It takes her awhile; she beings to type. _'Hello Andy. Thank you for asking how I am; to be completely honest I am perfect thank you, well a lot better than I was last week anyway. Thank you for coming round last week. I really did appreciate it. Thank you for checking up on me and making sure I am okay. Also thank you for not telling anyone about what happened.'_ She sends it.  
Janet gets that sickly feeling in her stomach, the feeling when you don't know what is going to happen. Janet doesn't want Andy to think that she is leading him on. She knows how Andy feels about her; she has done since that night she spent with him at Christmas. He has always been special to Janet. She doesn't know why exactly, he's just always been there for her. He looks out for her. Always makes sure she is alright. When Janet was with Adrian she could tell Andy was hurting but she wouldn't say anything to him, just in case he retaliated.  
***BUZZ* **Janet's phone went off again _'Oh, I'm glad you are okay. It's fine Jan; it's the least I could do. You are my friend, that's what friends do for each other. I'm always here to listen.' _Janet can't help but smile. _'What are you smiling at Jan? Has someone made you happy?' _Rachel jokes. _'Yeah, they have actually, someone that I wouldn't expect.' _Rachel has a look of surprise on her face. She was obviously being sarcastic but Janet didn't seem to care. Janet looks at the time on her phone. It was 5:54pm. _'Right then madam, shall we get ready to leave?' _Rachel looks at her and smiles widely. _'Yes, just let me finish typing this up then we can go.' _Rachel puts her concentration back to her computer screen and begins to type frantically.  
Janet puts her phone on her desk and walks up to Gills door and knocks on her door. Janet hears a loud _'Come in!' _and walks in through the door. _'Gill, Rach and I are leaving now. I am staying at hers for a little while. We have to go and get myself. All our work is done; well Rachel is finishing hers now. We will be in tomorrow at normal time. We are just going to spend some time together. Is that alright?' _Janet looks at Gill waiting for a rejection on her request. _'Of course you can leave now. You've done all your work that is all I can ask. Thank you for today again Janet. You are a good friend. Talk to me when you are ready about everything at home.' _Janet looks at Gill and smiles _'I will do, I just need to see if I can sort it out by myself. I will see you tomorrow.' _  
Janet walks out of the room and closes the door. She walks over to her desk and picks up her bag and walks over to the coat hangers. _'Are you ready?' _she asks Rachel. _'Just the last few words...' _she types faster _'...and I am done.'_ She clicks the save button and shuts the computer down. _'Let's go' _  
Rachel gets all her things and they walk out the office together. They get into the car and drive away.

***BUZZ* *BUZZ * *BUZZ* **Janet's phone began to go off on her desk. She had left it behind without realising.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

'_Has your mum replied to your answer phone message yet?' _Rachel asks as they both get into the car. _'No not yet, she may have been out this whole time, or she may not have checked the answer phone. It's happened before. In that case it was lucky as that was when Andy rang and left a message which wasn't appropriate for anyone to hear. I'm thinking he was drunk when he said it.' _Rachel laughed _'Andy drunk? Oh please, Andy is the most responsible person. What did the message say?'_ Janet puts the keys in the ignition and sits back in her seat and doesn't move. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. _ 'Remember that he was drunk when he sent it and he couldn't stop apologising once he knew what he had done.' _She took another deep breath. _'I can't remember exactly word for word...' _She struggled to get her words out _'Basically he said he loved me, that I am too good for Ade and that I should leave him and take the girls with me to live with Andy. Also I believe he said he wanted to 'fuck you in every room in my house and your house' he said that for sure.' _  
Janet knew there was more to the message but she wasn't going to Rachel all of it. First of all it had nothing to with her and second she doesn't want Rachel to think any different of Andy as Janet knew he wouldn't have done it if he wasn't drunk. The problem that Janet finds with Andy is that he will not give up.  
Rachel just laughs _'Wow Janet, you've caught yourself a lovely man haven't you. So no one else heard this message, like you are definitely sure on that?' _Rachel had a serious look on her face. Janet smiled. _'I'm sure. Mum took the girls out for the evening sometime last week when he left the message. He rang; I couldn't be bothered to get the phone so I let it go onto answer phone. I heard what he was saying and I didn't pick up. He was slurring all over the place, he couldn't have been sober. It was out of character so I ignored it and spoke to him the next day. Only you know now.' _Janet smiled at Rachel. She turns the key and the engine starts. She drives out of the car park and onto the main road towards her house. _'Rach I can put the CD player on but it's still Lady Gaga. I haven't had time to change it. Plus all my music is shit. You want to listen to some amazing Gaga?' _Janet laughs which makes Rachel begin to laugh. _'Well you know how much I love Gaga so put it on.' _Janet reaches over the radio and CD player, turns it on and presses play. As soon as the song comes on Rachel begins to sing. This is entertaining to Janet.  
Janet pulls up to her house and turns to Rachel _'Do you want to come in or do you want to stay in the car? I should be about 5 minute' _Rachel undoes her seat belt. _'I'm coming in to see your mum and the girls. Because, well you know, they love me.' _Janet shakes her head and laughs. They both get out of the car and close the doors being them. Janet locks the car from the front door. She takes her front door key and opens the door. _'Janet love is that you?' _Her mum Dorothy shouted. _'Yeah mum, it's me and Rachel. We've come to pick up my stuff tonight.'  
'What's happening tonight?' _Dorothy asked as she walked to the bottom of the stairs where they were standing from the kitchen. _'I rang up from work to tell you I'm going to be staying at Rach's for a couple of days. We've got this case on at the moment which I have to be with Rachel for everything. We have to work late into the night and get up earlier. We thought it was going to be easier that way.' _Janet explained. _'Well I'm sorry love but I'm going out tonight. If you were hoping on me looking after the girls I won't be able to. Any other night I can, just not tonight.' _  
In Janet's head she was thinking _'Shit.' _Instead she said _'Oh sorry mum, if I can find someone else to look after them I will try. If not I will stay with them.' _She looks across to Rachel. Rachel came up with an idea _'I will go and see the girls, Dorothy you go and get ready and Jan try and find someone to look after them.' _Janet smiles at Rachel and Dorothy goes back into the kitchen to finish putting things into her handbag.  
From the front room all you could hear was laughter from Rachel, Elise and Taisie. The girls loved Rachel; they thought she was the best thing their mother had ever brought home from work. They always tell Janet that she is amazing and that they want to see her more. Dorothy had now said her goodbyes and gone out. Janet was left to find someone to look after them. She couldn't go to Ade as she didn't want to cause another argument between them. She went through her address book and found one person.  
She picks up the phone and dials the number. She holds the phone to her ear and waits. _'Hello...hello, it's Janet here. I was wondering if you could do me a favour. Just for tonight...I'm going away for a couple of nights with Rachel...Mum would but she's also out tonight...they've eaten, it would just be you and girls, maybe watching a movie or something?...Erm, about 15 minutes?...You can, oh great thank you. I owe you one.'_ Janet hangs up the phone and walks into the living room were the girls were. _'Is it sorted Jan? ´ _Rachel asks. Janet nods. _'Girls I'm staying round Rachel's for a couple of nights for work. Gill is going to come round and look after you for the night, okay? Behave for her. She's given up her evening to do this so pay her some respect. We will quickly get my things and then we will wait for her to arrive. Mum said you ate before I came home. There is money where it normally is and in case you need me you can ring me or Rachel.'  
_Rachel hugs the girls and gets up from the sofa. She walks out of the room and walks up the stairs with Janet into her bedroom. Janet gets a bag from under her bed and begins to put some clothes from her wardrobe into it. Rachel sits on the bed. _'So Gill is really going to look after the girls tonight?'_ Janet walks over to her underwear draws. _'Yeah of course, she said she would after what I did for her tonight. I did feel bad though as it was a little bit of short notice. I think she is bringing Sammy with her, Elise would like that. I think she likes him.' _She looks into her bag and looks up. She smiles at Rachel and winks.  
***KNOCK KNOCK * **goes the front door. Elise gets up from the sofa and goes to the bottom of the stairs. _'Mum! I think Gill is at the door, should I get it or do you want to get it?' _There is no reply so Elise goes up to the door and opens in. Gill is standing there and gives a massive smile. She walks in and coming in behind her was Sammy. _'Hi Elise' _He said to her and smiles. Elise smiles back _'Hello Sammy, are you staying here tonight with your mum?' _There was a slight tone of desperation and hope in her voice. _'I'm not staying the whole night; I'm going out with Orla at about 10ish. So I'm here for a few hours.' _Elise looks disappointed. _'Oh, okay.' _She turns and walks into the living room. Taisie is talking to Gill. _'Mum is upstairs getting her stuff ready, she should be down soon.' _Gill smiles at the girls.  
5 minutes later Rachel and Janet come down the stairs. They walk into the living room and say goodbye to the girls. Janet thanks Gill again and she says bye to Sammy. Rachel gives the girls a quick hug goodbye and nods at Gill and Sammy. They walk into the hall, pick up Janet's bags and walk out the front door. The door slams behind them.  
Gill looks at the girls vacantly. _'So what do you want to do?' _


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Janet and Rachel are in the car on the way to Rachel's. The inside of the car is silent. Not an awkward silence, if anything he complete opposite. They are just enjoying each other's company as good friends do; there is no need for speaking to each other. There is never any tension between each other. Both of them know each other well enough to say anything and know that it will never be repeated but also they won't be thought of any differently. _'Jan?'_ Rachel says whilst glancing at her. Janet is keeping focus on the road, it's raining and her windscreen wipers are going off like mad. _'Yes Rach?' _She is still looking out of the screen window. _'You know when you talk to Gill, how does it come so easily to you?' _Janet laughs _'What do you mean?'_ Janet asks, she quickly looks at Rachel and frowns. _'Well you know you both get on really well. You talk to her effortlessly and she really likes you. How do you do it?' _Rachel is looking serious. _'I guess because I've known her for so long it's just easier. You wouldn't talk to Gill like you talk to me. I don't talk to her like I do to you. It's just a different relationship. Why are you asking?' _Janet looks at Rachel and slows the car down as she pulls up outside of Rachel's. _'Oh I don't know. I know Gill doesn't like me that much. I think I just want to be able to talk to her more without her passing a comment or thinking I'm some stupid young police woman.' _Janet parks up and stops the car. She smiles towards Rachel _'Rach don't be daft. Of course she likes you. If she didn't like you then why would she even talk to you? I've known Gill my whole professional career; I can tell you that she really does like you. You have nothing to worry about. Just let her warm up to you and she will let you show her what you can really do. You need to stop being so silly sometimes.' _Rachel smiles and says _'Thanks Jan. This is why I love ya.' _Janet laughs _'you silly bugger.' _  
They both get out of the car. Janet goes to the boot of the car to get her bags whilst Rachel runs to the front door to open it. With the door open she runs back to the car to help Janet get her bags and to stop her from getting so wet. Both Janet and Rachel walk into the hall way, put Janet's bags down and walk into the kitchen. _'Wine?' _Rachel asks. Janet nods and grabs two glasses. She walks up to the side of the kitchen and stands next to Rachel. _'So, you said you were an amazing cook. What are you going to cook me?' _Rachel completely forgot she said that and puts her head down. _'I'm so tired Jan, can we just order something? We could always go out if you want to; we've got an Italian in walking distance?'_ Janet takes a drink of her wine. _'I guess we could, although I was really looking forward to you cooking. You are going to cook for me tomorrow right? Otherwise I may as well go home. That reminds me, I need to see how Gill is holding up with the girls. Just let me get my phone' _Janet goes to get her phone. Rachel is left standing in the kitchen; she takes a drink of her wine and checks her phone. Janet comes back in empty handed. _'Rach, I think I left my phone at work. Can I please borrow yours?'_ Rachel hands her phone to Janet.  
Janet takes the phone and begins to dial Gills number. She holds the phone to her ear. Gill picks up _'Gill, it's not Rachel...Its Janet...I've had to use Rachel's phone...yeah we are both fine, are you and the girls alright? ...oh right I'm glad to hear it...has mum rang? ...she has? What did she say? ...right okay, well thank you for looking after the girls for me, it's been really helpful...yeah, go home and enjoy yourself...good, ignore him, he doesn't have any respect for anyone...oh Gill we both know that's not true...yeah, I will talk to you tomorrow...I can hear her, tell her the girls have been great and that I will ring her sometime tomorrow as well...Goodnight Gill, thanks again. I really appreciate it...Bye...Bye, bye.' _Janet hangs up and looks over to Rachel. _'Let's go then'  
_What Janet didn't know is that as soon as Gill leaves the Scott household she is again alone, like she has been many nights in the past. Sammy goes out a lot and also stays at his dads. When he is out Gill has the house to herself. This gives her time to think about her day and everything that has happened in it. One thing that Gill hates to think about but it always comes up is her ex husband Dave Murray. When Gill is alone her son is spending time with a man she can't stand. Dave was never really nice to Gill, it wasn't that he was violent or anything like that. He would just abuse the power he had over her in the hierarchy at work. And in the end he ran off with someone younger than Gill.  
When Gill arrived home she got herself a big glass of wine. She sat on the sofa in her living room, placed her glass on the floor and got some papers out of her bag. These were the papers to arrange the interview Janet is going to have with Geoff Hastings, the man that tried to kill her. Gill didn't get any pleasure of having to do this but it was work and therefore it had to be done. As Gill was looking through the case file that Janet had written out flash backs of the events were popping into Gills head. The details Janet gave were so precise that it sent shivers down her back. Gill continued to read over the report until late into the night.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Janet woke up and was lying in Rachel's bed next to her. Rachel was already awake and was just staring at Janet. _'Seriously, how much of the bed do you take up? The whole night I kept on having to push you away and turn you over.' _Rachel laughs at Janet. Janet puts her hand to her head _'Rach, I am so sorry. I guess I'm just used to living alone. I have a double bed to myself now. I've not had to share with anyone since Ade left.' _Rachel looks at Janet and smiles. _'Its fine, I didn't mind it. When we got in you seemed so tired that you sort of just got into my bed and fell asleep.' _Janet lifts the bed covers up and looks down. She was still wearing the same clothes she wore the day before to work. She puts the covers down and turns to face Rachel. _'I didn't say anything last night, did I? I mean like in my sleep.'  
_Rachel sat up in bed and looked at Janet. She had a concerned face as she began to talk. _'You did say some things. At the time I thought it was nothing. It sounded like you were talking to someone. Like you were having a right go at them and telling them how stupid they are and that they aren't thinking about anyone else but themselves.' _Janet closes her eyes. She puts her hands over her face. _'Shit. I thought it was just my dream. I did the same when I was younger. That's how mum always used to know if something was wrong. Somehow it would always appear in my dreams.'  
_She sits up. _'Last night I dreamt that I was alone, like fully alone. I didn't have my mum or the girls or you or really anyone for that matter. I was in this big room, completely empty apart from a chair. I walked over to the chair and I just sat down. There wasn't anything particularly special about the chair or the room. I think it was more the fact I was alone with no one around me. In the dream I just had a go at myself, like blaming myself for everything that had happened because frankly I am to blame for all the shit that has happened to everyone recently. I must have not been aware you would over hear me.' _She shakes her head and scratches it. _'I wasn't too bad was I? Like I didn't scream or cry?'_ Rachel nodded.  
_'You began to whimper a little. I don't blame you in all honesty; it was good to see you show some emotion. When you were crying, well it wasn't exactly crying but you know, I saw a side of you that I can tell you want to show everyone but you never do.' _Janet swings her legs round the bed and stands up. She looks at Rachel and walks into the kitchen. Rachel listens carefully; Janet puts the kettle on and sits at the table. Rachel gets out of bed, puts her dressing gown on and walks up to the table and takes a seat. Janet has got her head in her hands, Rachel looks at her. Janet puts her head up. Mascara is running down her rosy cheeks, she takes a tissue from the middle of the table and wipes her eyes. She has got a blocked nose and sniffs still holding the tissue in her hands.  
_'There are some things I never talk about. There are some things that I find to difficult to talk about. It's like someone is a net that supports you but it's full of holes. You trust this person so much but in the end they are what cause the holes. You try to patch the holes up but in the end they are still there and always will be. Finally when you try everything the net is already too badly ruined that nothing can save it so you get rid of it. You still want the net but you know it will never be the same.' _Janet looks up at Rachel and gives an awful attempt at a smile.  
_'I should have done it years ago. I just put up with it because of the girls. I would pretend that nothing happened and I would just live with it. I guess this was the last time he was going to do anything like that to me again. I suppose I had had enough.'_ She sniffed._ 'He never did it to the girls, he loved them too much.'_ Janet began to get watery eyed_ 'He would never lay a finger on them, oh no. He just would to me. He convinced me I deserved it; he told me that he wouldn't have to do it if it wasn't my fault. I never did understand what I did wrong.'_ She looked over at Rachel. Rachel was just sitting there with shock written all over her face. She reached her hand out for Janet to hold, Janet put her hand in Rachel's hand and squeezed. She didn't let go.  
It was 4:30am.  
Rachel found some words. She didn't know what to think of this. There wasn't much she could say. _'..WH...Why didn't you leave him?' _Janet smiled _'It's not that easy. I've seen women in the same position. They do something about it and then they get it back, usually twice as bad. We say we can help them' _Janet lets out a little cry. '..._but we both know there isn't anything anyone can do.' _She lets out a sigh. _'No one knew about it, he would never do it when the girls were at home. It wasn't all the time; it depended on what mood he was in...'_ Janet looks at her arm and holds her stomach _'...he was fine for years, he was also very clever. He knew how to not draw attention to it. He would never touch my face; just hold my arms until they were bruised and punches were thrown at my stomach. Odd slaps here and there, nothing that would actually properly qualify as anything to serious.' _She grabs another tissue and wipes her face.  
She looks at Rachel. She gets her hand and puts it on her hand. _'It's over now. You got out when you could. No turning back now. You are safe and there is no way I am letting you going back to him. Don't worry.' _She gives a reassuring smile to her friend even though she seems to be worrying about her.  
Janet got up and put a spoon of coffee into a cup for herself and Rachel. _'So no one else knows? Not even Gill or your mum?' _Janet shakes her head. _'I wouldn't tell anyone something like this. I've told you because I have something else to tell you. I think because I've seen what a bad relationship looks like I've tried to look for a good one. I looked for one whilst I was with Ade. I found someone. When me and Ade split up it was a perfect time for me to move on. For the past few weeks, I guess you could say few months I have been getting with Andy. He's helping to make all the pain go away which as a result is making me feel well, nothing.'  
_It was evident to Rachel that Janet has gone through a lot over the past few years. _'I'm sorry I haven't told you earlier Rach, I didn't know how to tell you. Whenever I get to talk to you people are always around. I think with everything that has happened I have nothing to lose.' _She sighs. Rachel could see now what was fully wrong with Janet and she could now understand why she didn't want to talk whenever Rachel offered. Janet puts water into the two cups and adds milk. She takes the two cups over to the table where they are both sitting. _'If you are tired you can go back to bed, I don't mind being left out here' _Rachel takes a sip of her coffee _'If you think I am leaving you then you must be mistaken. One thing I don't understand is why would he blame you for everything? You can't have done something so bad to make him do that to you.' _Janet shrugs. _'In all honesty I have no idea why he would do it. I know he blamed me for never being home. He once said to me 'Well you're fucking job just gets in the way. If you loved us you would want to spend more time with us as a family and not so much time doing work. It can't be that important.' That made me laugh, he didn't get it. Because he was a geography teacher he could just go home at the end of the day, whereas I can't just do that. I only put up with it because of practical things, like the girls. I pretended that nothing was wrong when there was, I think I just snapped.' _She looks at the clock. _'Fuck it's early. I guess we could both go back to bed; we don't start work until a few hours. Your alarm is still set.'  
_Rachel nods. _'Yeah I am tired. You've got your training for the Geoff Hastings interview tomorrow; you don't want to be tired for that.'_ Janet smiles _'If I start talking or anything again just wake me up and tell me to shut up.'  
_Rachel takes the mugs and places them into the sink. She takes Janet's hand and walks her into her bed room. They both get into bed. _'Rach thank you for listening. I know it's not always what people would want to hear this early in the morning. I really appreciate it and I love you for it. I'm glad you know.' _Rachel turns to Janet _'It's fine. That's what I'm here for. I guess I should say thank you for plucking up the courage to tell me. I won't tell anyone. I think we should try and sleep.' _She rolls over and turns the lamp off. _'Goodnight Jan.' _Rachel says. _'Goodnight Rach.' _Janet replies.  
For the next few hours the room would be silent. Rachel would be in a deep sleep and Janet would be laying on her back looking up at the ceiling with tears slowly rolling down her face. Janet tried her hardest to not make a sound as she didn't want to bother Rachel any more then she already had done. The hours passed slowly, Rachel was still asleep and Janet was still awake. When Rachel would wake up Janet decided she would pretend that she hadn't just spent the whole night awake crying over what they had previously been talking about.  
For now Janet was just left thinking to herself. The sun began to peer through the window. This was a sign to Janet how early it really was. She glances over to the clock. _'Just two more hours, I guess I could try and sleep. Two hours may be useful. It won't do me any harm' _Janet closed her eyes, she squeezed them tightly until she began to feel herself drift off in to a sleep.  
6:24am and Janet was finally asleep.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

It had always been a secret. No one knew, well not any one until now. Since telling Rachel Janet has been able to accept it more and she can begin to move on. Of course it isn't as easy as just saying things will get better. There will always be that memory which will never fade. Due to this memory Janet will find it difficult to trust anyone when it comes to relationships as there is always that worry it will happen to her again. It may seem strange that a police woman would just live with what had happened to her. You would think that she would be one of the first people to know what to do in one of those situations. For some reason she just put up with it. She knew that he only got like that when he was drunk, which wasn't that often.  
The alarm went off in the morning. Rachel rolled over and tried to stretch across to turn it off. She couldn't reach. She whispered _'Janet? Jan? The alarm is going off, can you get it? I can't reach it.'_ Janet opened her eyes and jumped. She looked at Rachel and laughed. _'Yeah, sorry, you made me jump Rach.' _She turned to face the clock. 7:32 am. She switched the alarm off. _'Great not even two hours sleep.'_ She thought to herself. She yawned and turned to get out of bed. She partly looked over her shoulder with her eyes looking at the floor. _'Erm, Rach?' _Rachel looks across _'Yeah?' _Janet took a deep breath. _'I'm sorry about earlier this morning. I shouldn't have put all of that on to you, you shouldn't have to deal with my shame and embarrassment, it was wrong of me and I'm sorry.'  
_Rachel gets up and walks to the side of her. She sits down and puts her arm around Janet. _'Oh Janet its fine, I just want to make sure you are alright. You are all I care about. You have no reason to apologise and no reason to be embarrassed. It could happen to anyone.' _Janet rests her head on Rachel's shoulder and sighs. _'Thanks Rach, you always know how to make me feel better. Let me make breakfast, what do you want?'  
_Janet walks into Rachel's kitchen. Rachel follows slowly behind. _'You know what Jan, I'm not very hungry. I will just skip breakfast. You can help yourself to whatever you want. I think I have cereal in the cupboard next to the oven.' _Janet holds her stomach and looks at Rachel. _'I'm still stuffed from last night actually. I guess we could have an early lunch if we have to. Grab some lunch on our way back to the office.' _Janet smiles _'Rachel, I need to talk to you. It's not as bad as last night. I just need some advice.' _They both go into the Rachel's room to get dressed. _'Whilst you were sleeping last night I was up thinking. I'm not ready for a relationship, not yet anyway. I thought I was but I'm not. I think I've rushed into things with Andy because I don't want to be alone. I've decided that I'm going to end it with Andy when I can, I want to be friends with him as he is causing no hassle to me and he is helping me as much as he can and I appreciate it. Am I doing the right thing?' _  
Rachel stands across the bed looking at Janet _'I can't tell you what to do. If you feel like you have to do it then you should. He should understand.' _She smiles, turns around and sits on the bed and puts a clean pair of underwear on. Janet goes into the bathroom to put her underwear on. She walks in with her clothes for the day in her hand. She puts them on and checks herself in the mirror. Rachel gazes across. In the time that Janet had got dressed Rachel was still putting her socks on. Janet picks up her bag and says _'I will wait for you in the living room, let you have some space and get ready. Also I need to sort my hair out.'  
_Janet goes into the living room and sits down. She takes a brush from her bag and starts to brush her blond hair. Five minutes later Rachel walks out fully dressed and ready to go. Both had brushed their teeth and got their bags ready. _'Do you want to take my car?'_ Janet asked. Rachel nods and gets into the front passenger seat.  
_'Are you gonna tell Andy today or sometime this week?' _Janet shrugs. _'I have no idea. I don't even know how I am going to break it to him. I don't want him to think he's done something wrong because he hasn't.' _Janet exhales and flaps her lips. _'I will just tell him when we are alone. I may go round to his some night. Will you drive me there and wait outside one evening this week?' _Rachel nods and smiles.  
They arrive at the office and Janet walks over to her desk. Sitting there is her phone. She goes over to it and looks at the main screen. _'10 missed calls and 7 texts. Let's see who from.'_ Janet checks the messages_ 'Erm, Rach? Andy tried to talk to me last night, he tried 17 times. That's not normal. I will talk to him about them when he comes in.' _Gill walks into the room. She looks at Janet and smiles, she looks at Rachel and says _'Rachel, isn't it a little early for you to be in?' _Rachel laughs. _'Ha. Very funny...' _With a sarcastic tone_ '...I actually came in with Janet. She stayed round so we came in together. We both got up early.'_ Gill looked shocked and smiled. _'Okay ladies. Oh Janet, I need you in my office later to go over the Geoff Hastings interview and all of the stuff that goes along with it. Okay?' _Janet looks up, takes her glasses off and nods. She looks over at Rachel; she rolls her eyes and mouths 'Fuck it.'


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

'_Hello Andy sorry for not replying to your texts or phone calls until now. I've just got to my phone as I left it in the office last night, complete accident but I will explain later...I hope nothing to serious has happened and that you are alright. Right, okay, erm...I will talk to you later when we are both free. Okay, see you soon. This was just a quick ring to let you know what happened. See you soon...okay...bye.' _Janet sighs and hangs up. She looks up at Rachel and half smiled. Janet looks across to Gill's office and sees her wave Janet into her office. Janet gets up and walks over to her office; she gives a knock on the door and steps in. _'Before we start I want to thank you so much for looking after the girls last night. I really appreciate it. I'm sorry about the really short notice. I hope they weren't too bad for you.' _Gills smiles and shakes her head. _'They were fine, really good actually. Elise liked seeing Sammy and he enjoyed seeing her. I just sat and watch telly with Taisie. Then your mum came home so I left. Honestly I didn't mind, I'm just glad you came to me.'_ Janet takes a seat. _'Tea, coffee?' _Gill asked. _'Tea please, if I have coffee I will be up half the night.' _She laughs and hesitates.  
Gill brings over two cups of tea. She takes a seat behind her desk and opens some paper folders. _'I was looking over the Geoff case last night, as you are interviewing him next week. I want to make it perfectly clear to you that you have a choice; you don't have to do this if you don't want to, and it's not too late to pull out. Dave has been passing round that I am making you do it, I want to make sure you know I'm not. Now, we will go over what happened on the day...' _Gill's voice shook _'...you know, that bastard tried to kill you.' _She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose and looked at Janet. Janet could see that this was a sensitive matter to Gill. _'Take your time, tell me what happened. If you need to stop we can.' _Gill looks at Janet as she begins to speak. _'Do you what the story from the beginning or just before I was stabbed?' _She looked at Gill with her eye brows raised and had a sip of her tea blowing it to cool it down. _'When he arrived at your house that day?' _Janet put the cup down and nods.  
_'I don't remember exactly what happened, it's a little blurry but I will tell you what I know...' _She closes her eyes and thinks hard. _'There was a knock at my door; I got up to get it. I was working from home at the time you see, looking over the case notes from when Veronica died. I saw Geoff at the door so I invited him in. At the time none of us were aware it was him that had any participation in anything. I made him a cup of tea, I think. We were talking and the phone rang. I picked up and it was Rach, I think I said 'Hello Rachel' and then all I remember her saying was 'It's Geoff' and then I said 'What's Geoff?' by that time he had grabbed at kitchen knife and came after me. We wrestled through the kitchen and hall way. My main goal was to take the knife off him, or at least try to before he hurt either of us. He cut my cheek. We fought over it a little more and that is when he...erm...'  
_Janet's voice began to break. She picked up her tea and took a gulp of it. She put the mug down and rubbed her neck. _'...that is when he...he stabbed me. I was left sitting on the floor. Then you and Rachel came. Andy carried me out into the car, you drove and Rachel sat in the back with me. My blood was erm, all over Rachel.' _Gill looked at Janet, she put her head down. _'Jan, I am sorry. We should have caught onto the fact it was him before he had time to do anything like that to you.' _Gill puts her head up and she looks away, tears began to form in her eyes. _'I believe that is all, I try not to think about it too much, it's not really something I like to talk about to be honest.' _Gill agrees _'I don't blame you, I would be the same.'  
_Gill collects the papers from her desk and arranges them into a neat pile. _'There is one more thing; we need to prepare you for every eventuality. We don't know what that bastard is going to throw at you. He may apologise, we don't know. He's requested to talk to you, he should be alright but I've been told to make sure this whole thing goes down without any problems. So we have to devise a plan of a way for us to know if he is pushing it. He should behave alright as this will be a three day holiday for him. Just in case he does what do you want to happen?'  
_Janet looks at Gill _'I didn't know it was going to be this difficult. I want Mitch in there with me, I know if I am left alone with him I will tell him what I really think of him and that won't help anyone. I think we should make a list of all the possible things that may come up. I will read over them so I will know how to handle it.' _Gill nods her head. _'I will put Mitch in with you; he will be there for you to fall back on. If you want me to make a list I will do it for you now, let you have a rest from this and then I will give it to you so you can prepare. Okay?' _Janet nods. _'I will leave now, get back to work and get this off my mind for now. Let me know what it is ready. See you later.' _  
Janet walks out of Gill's office, closes the door and walks to her desk in silence. She looks at her computer screen and opens a document, the silence continues. _'Are you alright?' _Rachel asks. Janet shakes her head.  
_'No, I'm not alright.'_


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Andy walks into the office; he completely ignores Rachel and goes straight to Janet. _'I got your message, sorry I didn't reply. I was on my way to work and I couldn't stop to answer the phone so I let it ring out. I listened to the message in the car park. We can talk now if you want?' _Janet pushes herself away from her desk, gets up and walks away out of the room. _'Andy, I really appreciate all you have done for me. I really like you, you know I do. I want to take things steady. I don't want it to be assumed that I will be round every night to see you. I haven't told anyone out us yet; I don't want them to know as they don't know about me and Ade splitting. I hope that is okay? I'm happy for us to text and I'm happy to go round yours sometimes, I will tell mum that I will be working late so I can go to yours and she can look after the girls. I don't want to walk straight into a committed relationship considering my other one recently ended, well a few weeks ago.' _  
Andy puts his hands on Janet's shoulders and looks into her eyes. _'Janet that's fine. Thank you for being honest about how you feel. I respect what you have said. Sorry about all the texts and calls last night. I didn't know your phone was still at work, if I knew I wouldn't have bothered. I just wanted to make sure you are alright as I didn't see you much last week because I was away, and with your Geoff interview coming up I wanted to double check everything.' _Janet leans in for a hug from Andy. Guilt flashes across her mind as she knows what is going to happen to him when she tells him that she doesn't want to be with him anymore. She squeezes him tightly and then puts her head up for a kiss.  
They both walk back into the office, Janet takes a seat at her desk and goes back to her work.  
Over the next half an hour everyone begins to arrive. Kevin starts the day with one of his usual awful jokes and he wonders why people find him annoying. Mitch walks in and walks over the Janet. _'Gill said you wanted me in with you for the Geoff Hastings interview. I would love to help you. Thank you for choosing me.' _He walks over to his desk with a huge smile on his face. Gill comes out of her office. _'Good morning.' _She walks over to Janet and whispers in her ear _'I spoke to Mitch, he said he would. I've almost come up with the list; it should be done in about 15 minutes. If you want me to go over it with you tonight I will.'_ Janet whispers back _'Thank you Gill.'  
_It was a usual day at work for everyone. The body of their recent victim had been found. He was stuffed into a dust bin. The crime scene had been combed over; the body was taken to the mortuary. The case had caught the media's attention from the begging, with it being a young child going missing there would be television appeals to help look for him. Even though this was enough to keep Janet busy, she could not get the fear or the guilt out of her head. The guilt of what she is going to do to Andy and the fear of the Geoff interview. She may be prepared for it but nothing can hide her hatred for him. After what he did to her no one can blame her for feeling that way towards him, the reason she is in fear is because whenever she sees him the whole event replays in her head which makes other memory spark into being.  
_'Janet' _Gill calls from her office. Janet gets up and goes into her office. _'Close the door.' _She closes it. _'I've made the list. Take a break to look over it, take as long as you need. Once have looked over them make sure you are okay with them.' _Gill hands Janet a piece of paper, Janet takes it. She doesn't look at it just yet. She walks out, closes the door and walks to her desk. She puts the paper on her desk and puts a stapler on top of it; she goes over the kettle and makes herself a cup of tea. She walks back over to her desk and the stapler is still on the paper, this shows it hasn't been moved or looked at.  
She picks is up and looks at all the things written on the paper.  
**Geoff Hasting Interview:****  
**

**He may try and apologise for all he has done to you, all the suffering he has caused you and your family. As a result of this apology he most probably say that he didn't mean to or want to do what he did to you. DON'T BELIEVE HIM. HE IS A TWISTED FUCK.**

**If you ask him a question he will/may try to turn the question back onto you, this could a simple 'how are you?' Don't risk anything with him. If you answer some of the questions he may ask you he will think that he has control over the situation, we can't let that happen.**

**If you think he is pushing you in any way remind him that he has been let out for 3 days as a privilege. He should behave. Remind him that we are watching and if we believe he is pushing it we will pull the plug. **

**As he refused to talk to anyone else you will need to make sure that he understands that you can leave anytime you want, as you chose to talk to him which you didn't have to do. If he pushes you too much that you think you have lost him just walk out, we will step in until you come back.**

**Never let him think he has got you. Try not to show how you feel towards him, he will feed off of that and act accordingly. I know how much you hate him, we all do. Just try to keep all of your feelings of him away from the interview. (if you need a break from him to let off steam let me know and I will postpone the interview)**

**Take what he says with a pinch of salt. Even though he requested you he may still try to pull the wool over your eyes. We will be watching from the camera and we will be able to see if what he says is genuine or just lip service. **

**If he begins to kick off stay calm. This will show him that you are no way concerned if he is behaving in that way. He should calm down, if he doesn't Mitch will step in to try and help.**

**Try not to get too annoyed with him; he will purposely try it on to see what your tolerance level is with him. The more you act like he isn't affecting you the less he will try. **

**Constantly remind him that he can go back to where he came from if he doesn't behave. He doesn't have the power to choose when he does leave, we do. We can cut his holiday short if he doesn't help in any way. Just remind him that.**

_These are only a few things you need to make sure of. We can discuss more when we talk about it. I'm going to say it again you don't have to do this if you don't want to. It is never too late to pull out. None of us would think any different of you as we all think you are brave to even consider talking to him. If you have any questions about anything that is on the list or need help in anything on the list my office door is open. We will set up a rehearsal interview for you to practise everything that is on this list. You will do fine; I have every faith in you.  
Gill and the team_**  
**Janet puts the paper down and all she can think is _'Shit.'_**  
**


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Janet gets up from her desk and rushes to the toilet; she has the paper in her hand. The way she walked out wouldn't suggest anything was wrong with her, to a normal person they would think she just needed the toilet. Rachel knew different, she could see something was troubling Janet. Rachel left her alone for a while; she began to notice the time tick past. She decided to go to the toilet. Andy looked up from his desk and saw both women were missing. He texted Janet _'Janet what's wrong?' _Janet was sitting in a toilet cubical when the text came through. This was the moment when things went from bad to worse. Janet picked up her phone and gave Andy a reply _'I will talk to you about it tonight, I will come round. There's nothing to worry about, I'm fine.'_ She pressed the send button and waited.  
_'Jan? Are you in here?' _Janet didn't answer straight away until Rachel called _'Janet?' _Janet unlocked the toilet door and walked out _'Yeah Rach I'm in here.' _Janet wasn't crying, she wasn't shouting, she just seemed a little stressed and confused. _'At first I thought you were just going to the toilet, but no one spends 15 minutes in the toilet unless something is wrong. What's happened?' _Janet gives Rachel the paper Gill gave her. _'Whilst I interview the one and only Geoff Hastings I'm not allowed to show how I really feel about him, I have to act like what he did never happened. It's not that I don't think I can do it, I just know something bad is going to happen; something always does...' _Janet looks in the mirror _'...it's not that I'm afraid, I'm not scared, I'm not anything like that. I'm more so angry and annoyed. I'm annoyed that I have to talk to someone that tried to kill me and I have to pretend like nothing happened...' _Janet sighs _'...but its fine. I'm fine; it's nothing I can't handle.' _Janet smiles at Rachel. _'I'm fine...' _She nods. _'I'm fine Rach.' _  
Rachel faces the mirror and looks at Janet, she nods taking in what Janet just said. _'So are you going to go through with it?' _Janet turns and leans against the side. _'Yeah I'm going to. Gill says I don't have to but I know if I don't I will just disappoint everyone. I want answers for what he did; he deserves the worst thing that could possibly happen to him.' _Rachel could see that Janet wasn't going to cry but she was beginning to work herself up. _'You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. No one will be disappointed in you; we will respect your decision...' _Janet's phone goes off, she looks at the screen; it's a text from Andy. Janet pulls a face. _'...you've been through a lot; we don't expect you to do anything.' _Rachel notices Janet's face. _'Is that Andy again?'_ Janet nods. _'I told him I'm going to talk to him tonight; I will tell him that I can't be with him anymore and I want to be friends with him. He should understand.' _Janet looks at her watch _'We better go back to work; I think we've been gone long enough.' _Rachel agrees _'yeah we should, are you sure you are alright?' _  
Janet smiles and raises her eyebrows. _'I'm fine Rach; you should stop worrying so much. You go in; I need to wash my hands and look over the paper again.' _Rachel walks out of the toilet and goes in to the office. Janet is left standing in the toilet; she waits to hear the doors close behind Rachel. Janet lets out a sigh and puts her head back. She leans over the sink and puts her head down. A few moments pass and she looks up, straightens her back and walks out of the toilet.  
When Janet walks into the office Andy comes up to her. _'You didn't reply to my text.' _ Janet sits at her desk. _'I will come round tonight so we can talk about it. I'm fine, I just need some time alone.' _Andy goes over to his desk. Janet glances over to Gill's office. She can see that Gill is in there; she gets up and goes to knock on her door. Janet walks in. _'Gill is it okay if I go home and work from there for the rest of the day?' _Gill can see that Janet needs time alone. _'Yeah that should be alright, I will ask someone to cover for you on some of the paper work. Are you alright?' _Janet thinks about her answer. _'Thank you. I am fine, people keep asking me that. I'm just tired; I need some time alone to think about things. I will prepare for the interview at home. Can you email me some questions to help me identify my feelings towards Geoff? I know how I feel but I need to make sure I don't show them towards him.' _Gill looks at Janet. _'Okay, you go when you want. Come back when you are ready. I will do it when I have a free five minutes and send it to you. Have you not been sleeping or something? You should ask Ade to take you away for a while.' _Janet smiles nervously. _'Yeah I should ask him to...' _Gill doesn't know about what happened yet. _'...I slept round Rachel's last night, we were talking about Geoff and stuff and I couldn't sleep. I haven't slept properly for about a month or so.' _That's the amount of time Janet hasn't been with Ade. _'I will go once I finish the work I am doing.'  
_Janet leaves her office. Gill gets up and watches Janet go back to her desk. She gets straight to work and doesn't hint to anyone that she will be leaving once her work is finished. Janet saves her work, takes her bag and coat and walks out.  
She gets into her car and drives home.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

On her way home Janet begins to think, she thinks about everything when she is like this. It doesn't happen often but when it does she doesn't always know how to handle it. Before, she had Ade to help her, now that he isn't in the picture she has to sort it out for herself. Rachel says she doesn't mind helping but Janet feels guilty for letting Rachel take on all of her problems. Gill says she's always happy to talk but Janet knows that she is busy and she shouldn't have to listen to her pointless problems. In a way Janet cannot make herself feel better without making herself feel guilty for what she is putting onto other people.  
The past few weeks have been a bit of blur, the stuff that Janet has been putting off for years has finally come crashing down on her like a tonne of bricks. She's trying to prepare herself for something when in reality she can't prepare for it. In some ways she escaped and in other ways ran away. It was the right thing to do for her safety, that doesn't always mean it was the right thing for her in the long run. Only two people away from the family know about what happened; only one fully knows what happened. Janet doesn't want to tell anyone else as she doesn't want to draw attention to it, she made her bed and now she has to sleep in it.  
_'Home at last. The girls are at school and mum is out with her friends, home alone.' _Janet says as she opens the front door. Her hands are full with Geoff paperwork she had left in the boot. She walked in the front door and closes it behind her with her back. She walks through to the kitchen and puts her stuff on the kitchen table. On the table there was other paper work that Janet had been looking over the night before she went to Rachel's. It had been put together in a pile at the corner of the table. She removed her coat and put it over one of the chairs and placed her bad on the same chair. She took her laptop out of her bag, switched it on and waited for it to load. As she was waiting she put the kettle on. She logged on and waited again. She put the hot water into a mug and made a cup of tea.  
The computer was now loaded, she went onto her emails. There was some junk mail, one email caught her eye; it was an email from Gill. This is what she was waiting for.

To: DCJanetScott .uk  
From: DCIGillMurray .uk  
Subject: Geoff Hastings interview and general check up.  
1 Attachment

Hello Janet,  
here is the list of questions you asked me for in preparation for the interview. I have attached the document to this email; I hope it is helpful. Once you read it write a response and send it back to me, that way we can keep a close eye on your feelings and attitudes towards Geoff.  
I can tell this is a tough time for you at the moment, the reason I let you go home early to work is because I could see that you needed a break as well as time to get ready for later this week, everyone needs time for themselves. Whilst I was looking after the girls last night they mentioned that you and Ade have had an argument and he has gone for awhile, they said he will come back once your mum has gone home. I really hope everything at home is alright and work isn't getting in the way of anything that needs sorting out. Andy was asking about you once you had left. He seemed relatively concerned  
I will leave you to read through the questions and answer. Do them when you are ready to do them, the interview isn't until later this week. Relax, get an early night and come in ready tomorrow.

Gill

Janet clicked on the attachment and saved it to her laptop. She opened the document, began to read it. By all of this happening today it has made the whole thing become more real, due to this she is now aware of the seriousness and importance of it all, as before she only saw it as a normal interview but with someone that tried to kill her. The panic begins to set in. Janet begins to fill the questions in. She speaks the answers as she types them out.

**What did GEOFF HASTINGS try to do to you?**

_Geoff Hastings stabbed me with a kitchen knife, whether he tried to kill me is still unconfirmed._

**Do you think when he arrived at YOUR HOUSE that was his plan?  
**_I'm not sure. When he first arrived he was how I always knew him to be. He didn't show any signs of this plan, if he had one, until a phone call with Rachel Bailey where she informed me Geoff was the murderer of his sister Veronica._

**Is there anything you did in the situation beforehand which may have caused him to react the way he did?**  
_Whilst on the phone to Rachel Bailey I remember her saying to me 'It's Geoff' I answered with a 'What's Geoff?' This may have caused him to panic as he knew what we were talking about. As a result of that phone call he grabbed a knife._

**How did you feel when you first saw the weapon GEOFF HASTINGS had from YOUR KITCHEN?  
**_In all honesty I was scared. _

**What were the events leading to the STABBING?**  
_I tried to retrieve the knife from him; he wouldn't give it to me. We had a struggle from the kitchen through the hall near the front door. The whole time through the struggle I tried to take the knife from him, not only for my own safety but also for his own. I managed to get the knife in my hand but with Geoff's hand still clasped firmly around it. We fell to the floor, as we fell to the floor the knife sliced into the cheek which caused it to bleed._

**Where were you when the STABBING took place?  
**_I was on the floor at the bottom of the stairs._

**How did your colleagues know you were in danger?  
**_As I was on the phone to Rachel Bailey I saw the knife, before he came after me I shouted down the phone 'He's got a knife' this caused alarm which made them come to try and stop him doing anything. Before they had a chance to step in Geoff was already gone._

**What did GEOFF HASTINGS do after he STABBED you?  
**_He left me on the floor with a bleeding cheek and bleeding wound on the side of my stomach. He ran away and tried to escape. I don't know what happened next._

**What happened to you once your colleagues arrived?**  
_Rachel Bailey sat with me in my house until Andy Roper picked me up and put me in the car. An ambulance was called but it wouldn't arrive quickly enough and I was bleeding. Gill Murray drove me to the hospital. Rachel Bailey sat in the back with me leaning on her applying pressure to my stab wound._

**What happened to you once it was over?  
**_I had to undergo surgery on the stab wound, I had stitches in my cheek and I had to see a psychologist for a few months after the event. I went back to work when I fully recovered._

**What are you feelings towards GEOFF HASTINGS?**  
_I don't like him. Not just for what he has don't to me but what he has also done to other victims. I don't know if it was intentional but he tried to kill me, which would have caused my children to live without their mother, which wouldn't have been fair on them. It could have been an accident for what he did to me, that doesn't condone what he did but in my mind it makes it seem less malicious. I hate him, I hate him so much. _

**What do you want to happen to GEOFF HASTINGS?**_  
I want him to get what he deserves, not just for what he did to me but also for other families which he has caused suffering and loss. He doesn't have a right to walk around living a normal day life for what he did. What he did to me could have been an accident but everyone else he has harmed was intentional._

As Janet filled in the questions she made sure she didn't swear and kept the majority of her answers brief.  
She attached the answers to an email.

To: DCIGillMurray .uk  
From: DCJanetScott .uk  
Subject: Answers to questions.  
1 Attachment

Gill,  
completed all of the questions for you, I hope they are alright and have all the information needed. If there are any issues email me back or go through them with me tomorrow.  
I have had an argument with Ade; it shouldn't be anything to serious. I'm not sure what is going to happen in all honesty. I don't know what the girls have been telling. Everything here is fine. Thank you for letting me come home to do some work. I didn't sleep well at all last night, I woke Rachel up at night and we ended up talking about everything.  
Once I complete the work I need to do I will contact Andy, for now tell him I wasn't feeling too well, I will explain to him later tonight.

Janet

And the message was sent.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

'_Mum? Mum, are you awake?'  
_Janet quickly lifts her head up from the table, Elise had made her jump. A piece of paper was stuck to the side of her face from where she had been resting her head whilst she slept. _'Hello love, school finished?' _Elise nodded as she made a rush to the fridge to find some food. _'Is Taisie with you?' _Janet asks as she is still half asleep. _'No she's sleeping round her friend's house, she did text you about it last night but you didn't reply so she asked dad. He said its fine.' _Janet stared at Elise in the fridge. She stands looking into the fridge and grabs a strawberry yoghurt and goes to the cutlery draw to get a spoon. She takes a seat at the table with Janet. _'Right, that's okay then.' _She says sarcastically.  
Elise opens the yogurt and licks the lid. _'So why are you home? I thought you would have been at work, you know like you usually are when I get in from school.' _Elise had a slight tone of disappointment and resentment to the fact Janet is always at work. _'Gill let me come home early, to get ready for something that is happening this week.' _Elise takes another spoon of her yogurt. _'It must be important then? You never come home, not even when you are ill. And you fell asleep because you were tired?' _Janet nods. _'That's why I stayed round Rachel's last night, to prepare for work this week. Gill doesn't want me to burn out in any way so she suggested for me to get some rest. Yeah, I was, well still am tired.' _Elise puts her spoon down. She sighs and looks at Janet. _'Mum, we aren't stupid you know. We know that you don't sleep, you spend half the night crying over everything that has happened; we hear you. We know the real reason you stayed at Rachel's. We don't say anything because we don't want to upset you or make things worse. Gill doesn't know about you and dad yet, does she? She asked why he wasn't looking after us last night; we just said he's moved out until everything is back to normal.' _Janet bows her head in shame.  
_'I don't want you and Taisie thinking that I can't handle what has happened. I'm coping with it; it's just at the moment with everything that is happening at work and at home I am so stressed. I can't sleep because I either have your dad or work on my mind. I cry because I realise that I am alone, I realise things aren't going to get much easier and in the end everyone just seems to have something bad happen to them as a result of what I did.' _Elise looks at Janet with an expression of surprise. She had never seen her mum like this, she was away most of the time so when she did see her they never spoke about work or how Janet felt, it was always about something on the TV or something that has happened at school.  
Elise was speechless. _'Mum, you've never said. We know you more then I think you realise. We've seen what you've been through. You know the whole Geoff Hastings situation. As we got older we began to piece together what yours and dad's relationship was like.' _Janet's face froze. She began to panic. _'He would get annoyed that you were never home, he just missed you. We all miss you when you come in late. We know it's your job and it's important to you, we realise that now, I guess we just missed having you round.' _Janet's panic stopped, she had no reason to panic. Elise doesn't know what he was really like, she made out that he was this caring husband, which was true, but not all the time.  
Janet looks at her watch. She looks at Elise. _'I'm sorry love I have to go. I will be back later tonight I promise, if you want to talk then we can. I just need to give something to Gill.'_ Elise nods and sighs. _'Okay, I will see you later. I am cooking myself something later for dinner, do you want me to wait for you?' _Janet smiles and looks at Elise. _'Yes please love that would be nice.' _Janet walks up to Elise and kisses her head. She closes her laptop lid and puts it in her bag. She takes her bag and coat. The front door slams behind her. Elise listens carefully as she hears her mum drive away.  
Elise has lived with her mum working the long hours ever since she was little. She was old enough to realise soon on what the hours were doing to her parent's relationship, this made her upset as she could see it but no one seemed to be able to. She loves her mum, she really does. She doesn't get to spend much time with her but when they do spend time together she enjoys it. Elise is at an age where she can talk to her mum more openly. Taisie is younger then Elise. She has a different relationship with her mum then Elise does. They talk but it is never about anything serious, more general talk then anything specific. This is something Elise takes satisfaction on, as she has the ability to talk to her mum and they both gain something from it, whereas most of the conversations Janet has with Taisie ends in tears, usually due to arguments.  
She finished her yogurt, put the pot in the bin with the lid, the spoon in the dishwasher and she went upstairs where she would find herself alone for hours. She took her phone out of her pocked and texted her mum. _'Hello mum, I just wanted to say thank you for talking to me when I got in from school today. It was nice spending time with you. I will make us dinner tonight and we can talk about things more. Taisie isn't coming home, Gran is staying in a hotel with a friend for a few days. It is just us two tonight. I will see you later, please don't forget. I love you. xxx' _  
The message was sent.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Janet was in her car on the way back to work. It was nearly 6 O'clock. She had forgotten that Elise had drama after school. When she got to work she went straight to Gill's door and knocked on it. _'Come in' _Janet opened the door and walked in. _'Janet? I thought you were staying at home for the evening?'_ Janet took a seat. She gave a look as if to say _'I have something on my mind and I've come here to tell you'_ to Gill, and she was right. _'Yeah I know, I'm going to go back home after...' _Gill looked at Janet. _'...I know you said I have a choice if I want to do this fucking interview or not. Sorry for my language but all of this has rather pissed me off in all honesty. It's not that I don't believe you, it's just that I know what will happen if I don't do it, I would disappointed everyone by not doing it, it would make the case suffer by me not wanting to do it and I can't let that happen, obviously. I just don't want to make you look bad in front of Dave...I'm not blaming anyone for anything that may happen as we don't know what will happen and that is why I am scared...I don't think any amount of preparation will actually prepare me for what is going to happen. I hate this man, I hate him so much. Words can't describe my hatred towards him, but when I'm in there I 'can't show any feelings towards him' which is going to be bloody difficult...' _She takes a breath and swallows.  
_'...I just don't want to disappoint you. I don't want Dave to get the satisfaction he believes he deserves. I'm going to do the interview, not because I've been forced into doing it but because I know... because I know I should. I don't want to go in there and not get the job done because everyone is relying on me and I know I need to do as well as I can...' _She beings to cry_ '...I'm just worried something will happen which make me lose control over everything and in the end put the whole case in jeopardy because I...I can't get over my feelings towards that bastard.' _She gives a sigh of relief and looks at Gill who is listening to Janet.  
She bites her bottom lip. _'I had no idea you felt like this. I'm happy you've come to talk to me about it, this way we can sort it. I'm not happy that you feel like this, you would never disappoint me over something like this Janet, it's not worth it. I know what it is doing to you, all the added pressure. I can only imagine how you are feeling. We are all going to be here for you cheering you on. I've spoken to Mitch and he has had some training as well, he is there for you. We all are. I don't want you to feel alone because you aren't.' _She smiles at Janet and hands her a tissue. Janet wipes her tears. _'Gill I'm sorry that this has all come on so sudden, I just didn't want to go into the interview with this on my back because then I recon something would have happened.' _She smiles back, an unconvincing smile but it was something.  
_'Did you sleep at all when you got home?'_ Janet nods and Gill smiles. _'Good, that's what I was hoping for. Don't worry if you didn't finish all the work that you said you would, I'm just glad you got some sleep. Rachel said you slept awfully last night. She said you had maybe 2 hours at the most.' _Janet nodded. _'I slept less than an hour. It's not anyone's fault, just my own. I've found it difficult to get to sleep. I think the whole Geoff situation is all coming back to me...' _Gill's face drops _'...anyway I have to go, Elise is home and she going to make me dinner, I told her I'm just coming in to talk to you and now that I have I can go. Has Andy gone home, I didn't see him when I walked in?' _Gill smiled. _'Elise is a great girl, you are lucky to have her. Taisie is great also, you have amazing kids. Yeah he went about half an hour ago, he said he's something happening tonight which he has to go home to prepare for, I didn't ask but I'm guessing he has got himself a women. Don't tell him I told you that.' _She laughs. Janet laughs nervously.  
_'So I'm going to leave you to get back to whatever you were doing and I will see you tomorrow. Thank you for listening and sorry for the inconvenience of it all.'_ She gets up from her chair and heads towards the door. _'Its fine, I'm happy you came to me. Enjoy your night with Elise; you need to have a good time.' _Janet walks out the door and waves through the window.  
The office was surprisingly quiet. Rachel was out with Kevin at the pub, as usual. Mitch was still at his desk just typing up some work before he left and Gill was in her office which is where she may spend a few more hours before she goes. What Gill didn't know was the reason Andy went home early, Gill doesn't know that Andy and Janet have got together, Gill doesn't even know about Janet and Ade. Of course she is too busy to be bothered with all of that trivial nonsense.  
Janet got into her car and began to drive home, on her way home she took a different way, this way would bypass Andy's house. She got out of the car and went to the door and rang the bell. Andy answered the door and his face lit up, this made it more difficult for Janet to tell him. _'I'm not staying, I can't.' _They walk into the kitchen.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

'_That's fine, do you want a drink?' _Janet looked at Andy. _'I'm not staying, not even for a drink. I need to talk to you. Before I do I wanted to tell you why I went home today. Gill let me go home so I could prepare for the Geoff interview later this week, she sent over questions for me to answer and other work for me to complete which would have made it impossible for me to complete at work due to the current case. I did fall asleep at home once I had finished all the work. I went to go and talk to Gill. I can only stay for 5 minutes then I have to leave...' _Andy's face relaxes and looks like he is relieved. He thought something was seriously wrong with Janet, he doesn't know what is about to happen to him. Janet sighs.  
_'...look Andy...I don't want to do this anymore. I nearly went straight home, after I went to see Gill, and rang you but, um, I couldn't. I don't want to let you go on thinking that this is happening when it isn't. I've tried and it's not what I want. I'm sorry. I've always said that if I broke up with Ade I didn't want to walk into another relationship and that is what I've done. It's all time and space. All the things I've talked about, all the things I've never made a secret of. I hope...I hope we're friends. You don't realise how difficult this is. I really like you, but I can't do this. I'm leaving now, please don't do anything.' _Janet looks at Andy, who's got tears forming in his eyes. He rubs his eyes and follows Janet out. As she gets into her car he shouts behind her _'Janet please don't leave.' _Whilst she drives away he goes back into his house and cries in the kitchen, he gets a bottle of wine and pours himself a big glass.  
In the car on the way back Janet begins to cry. She knows again she has done the right thing but she can't help but feel sorry for Andy for what she has done to him. She knows that she has caused him pain with what he just said to him. As she drives home she tries to forget what has just happened as she doesn't want to go home crying and have Elise ask her questions. Once Janet arrives home she sits in her car for a few minutes. She looks in the screen mirror to see if it was obvious that she had been crying. She waits a little longer to calm down and gets out the car. She takes her front door key and opens the door. _'Hello love, I'm back.' _Elise's bedroom door opens and she comes running down stairs. She runs up to Janet and gives her hug squeezing her tightly.  
_'What do you want for dinner?' _Janet removes her coat and walks into the kitchen. _'I don't mind, whatever you can cook?' _She smiles and looks at Elise. Elise by this point is looking in the fridge to see what she could make for them. _'We have chicken, beef or fish?' _Janet thinks. _'Well it depends on what you are going to make.' _Elise smiles at Janet and walks over the bread bin. _'Okay, so we have wraps, chicken, peppers, onions and some sauces. I can make fajitas. I remember making them at school.' _Janet replies. _'That sounds lovely. Is there anything I can do to help?' _Elise laughs, she looks at Janet and hands her a knife. _'You can chop the onions, I hate doing them.'  
_Janet began to chop the onions, everyone knows with onions that if you chop them they magically make you cry, or tears run down your face which looks like you are crying. As Janet is chopping the onions she begins to sniff, tears run down her face. _'I can see why you don't like doing them.' _Unaware to Elise the onions were only playing a small part in the tears running down Janet's face. She is in fact crying, not because of the onions but because of what has just done to Andy. Janet isn't going to tell Elise any of this, so Janet is going to blame it on the onions.  
Dinner was finally ready after some complications with the chicken. Elise wasn't sure if it was cooked so they had to cut into every piece of chicken to see if it was still pink in the middle. Elise plated up and they sat at the table. Elise began to smile at Janet. _'What is it?' Janet asks Elise. 'Oh nothing, it's just nice spending time with you. It hardly every happens, you know, just you and me. Taisie is usually here and it isn't as much fun when she is here. I guess I've missed you recently, since dad left really.' _Elise looks at Janet. _'I'm not blaming you for anything at all, he could have chosen to stay, he didn't have to react the way he did. And the whole thing with work, I know how hard you work. If you didn't work as hard as you do we wouldn't have half the stuff we've got. You've always been here for us, even though you do work ridiculous hours. You've always been to every school thing with us; you've made sure we've got everything we need. I've just missed not seeing you as much.'  
_Janet put her food down. _'Elise, I'm sorry about what happened between you and your dad. It isn't entirely his fault as it isn't entirely my fault, we are both equally to blame. I'm sorry that I haven't always been here for you, that my work has come first on so many things. I apologise for that, but I wouldn't have it any other way. If I was home all the time we wouldn't have special moments like this. I'm just happy you still want to spend time with me.'  
_The whole way through dinner Janet and Elise talk. _'Mum, I want you to know that I'm here if you ever want to talk. I know you have Gill and Rachel but if you ever don't want to talk to them I'm happy to listen. I know I am only young and you are my mum but I'm more than happy to. It's been killing me seeing you being the way you've been like recently. I don't ever want to say anything because Taisie is usually here, she's too young to understand some issues older people have, but not me, I get them. I'm here to listen if you need me. I just wanted you to know that.' _Janet looks like she could break into tears at any moment and so does Elise. _'I just love you mum.' _  
_'I love you to Elise. I love you so much.'_


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Elise and Janet are in the living room watching television. _'Mum?' _Janet mutes the TV. _'Yes love.' _Janet looks at Elise and smiles. Janet can see that Elise was being serious. _'Will you sleep tonight, please? With everything that is happening this week I want you to be okay and at the moment you aren't okay. You may say you are fine and there isn't anything wrong with you but I can tell something is wrong. Something has happened today, something you haven't told me. I don't want you to tell me if it is something I don't need to know. I just want you to sleep and be happy.'_ Janet takes a drink from her glass of wine. She thinks and nods. _'Yeah okay love, I will get to sleep at a decent hour tonight, well better than last night. I can't promise anything though; it isn't that easy just saying I will sleep for hours, when in reality I doubt it very much.' _ Elise gets up from the sofa. _'Okay. I am going to bed now, I am so tired and I have a busy day tomorrow.' _She leans over to Janet and gives her kiss. _'I love you.' _She heads towards the door. _'I love you to love.'_  
With Elise going to bed, Taisie at a friend's house and her mum at a hotel with a friend, Janet's alone yet again. She didn't mind it so much this time as now she can let all of her feelings out which she had to hide from Elise, the feelings she had in the car on the way home. Janet got up to put more wine into her glass and took her phone from the kitchen table. She went and sat back down in the living room. She put her glass on the floor and started to write a text. This time she made sure it was for Rachel. _'Hello Rach, sorry I didn't come to yours this evening. Elise made me dinner and I spent the night with her, Taisie and mum are out. Also I'm sorry I left work early, Gill let me go home once I finish what I was doing. I'm sorry I haven't spoken to you all day, I've been getting ready for Geoff later this week.' _She was thinking about whether to mention what had happened between her and Andy or just let Rachel mention it and tell her then. She looked over the text and began to think again, what if Rachel didn't ask what happened, what if she didn't care, what if she hadn't even noticed Janet was gone. All of these were rushing around in her head. She went onto the menu and sent the text to Rachel.  
Janet didn't need any entertainment or distractions from what had previously happened. She knew what she had just done, she knew that it was the only thing she could have done. It didn't make her feel any better about it all, having the guilt of what has happened, knowing she has hurt someone that likes her for who she is that always have done, that has never been a secret. There isn't anything she can do now. Everything is out in the open. There is no way she can go back to Ade after what he did to her, she can't go to Andy for more than one reason; she moved quickly into that relationship when she wasn't really ready and she doesn't think he will go back to her after everything she said to him, when in reality it isn't that bad, not as bad as what she had said to Ade. Janet felt that she only had herself to blame. She was the one that wasn't ready. She was the one that made Ade do what she did to her, like Ade would say _'If you didn't give me a reason to do it then I wouldn't.' _Of course Janet knew that was a load of shit but she still felt responsible for what he would do to her.  
Janet picked her drink up and took a sip, her phones goes off on the sofa. With the glass still pushed up against her lips she begins to read the text from Rachel. _'Hello Jan. Its fine, don't worry about it. You most probably need to be in your own home and bed over the next few days. I noticed you went and then I noticed you didn't come back. I didn't know you were going home, I thought you were going out to do something for Gill, I was going to text you but my battery went flat. Its fine that we haven't spoken much, how are you?' _Janet once again put her glass on the floor. This is an open opportunity for Janet to tell Rachel the whole story. She took a deep breath and began to start the text. _'I did come back, only later at about 6. Gill said you were out or something like that. Whilst I was talking to her I sort of had a little bit of an emotional breakdown. It wasn't awful, I just began shouting and swearing. How I usually get, you know? We sorted it out and we are fine now. On my home I stopped off at Andy's, and I did it, it's over.' _A tear rolled down her left cheek, she wiped it dragged her hand across the sofa. All she can do now is wait.  
She began to properly cry. She didn't know what to do, she couldn't cry in front of Andy as that would have made the situation worse. She couldn't cry in front of Elise, she is already concerned enough that Janet couldn't put her through the extra stress and worrying. She kept quiet until now. Rachel was the only other person to know about Janet getting Andy, she is the only person who knows about why her and Ade really split up. She is now the only person that knows it is all over between them. Rachel is the first person Janet goes to when she is angry or upset. Janet can tell her anything.  
It was 3am and Janet hasn't got a reply from Rachel, she decided she should go to bed. She had spent a lot of her night downstairs crying and drinking going over events in her head. She get up, turns the light off and puts her glass in the kitchen then heads up to bed.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Janet awoke like it was any other morning; the light was seeping through the blinds which filled her room with brightness. She rolled over to the empty side of her bed and realised it was as empty as it had been recently. Lying down next to her was Elise; she was still asleep facing Janet. Janet just stared at her; she put her head back on the pillow and looked right at her. _'Mum stop looking at me, I can feel you looking at me and it's freaking me out.' _A smile begins to form on her face as she finishes talking. Janet lets out a slight laugh. _'Sorry love, didn't know you were awake. Why are you in here? Not that I mind, I just want to know why.'_ Elise slowly opened her eyes. She glanced up at Janet and sighs. _'I heard you come up stairs last night, you weren't exactly quiet. I heard you go to the toilet and brush your teeth and get changed, all of that stuff. When I heard you get into bed I began to hear you crying. I waited until you stopped and got to sleep, then I got into bed with you to keep you company, I guessed you were lonely. Hearing you that upset broke my heart and I couldn't just listen and not do anything about it.' _She half smiled at Janet but Janet could see that she was hurting.  
Janet began to feel her usual guilt; she always feels like this when she can tell that someone she loves is upset. By the tone of Elise's voice Janet could hear the break, the break someone gets when they are about to cry. Elise's face was telling a different story, she didn't have any look of sadness, just the look of hurt. Not necessarily hurt from anything that anyone has said to her or done to her, just hurt from seeing her mother in such a state. Janet had decided not to tell Elise the truth, instead she said _'Sorry I woke you love, I was just having a rough night that's all. Before your dad left I would talk to him about it but now he is gone I don't talk to anyone about it.' _Elise looked concerned. _'_What_ is it?'_ Janet took a deep breath and put her hand on Elise's hand. _'I'm scared love. I'm not scared of anyone; I'm just scared about what's going to happen tomorrow. I don't know what will happen. For all I know I could completely lose it and that would do no one any good.'  
_Elise didn't know what to think when Janet told her that, she didn't know that she was lying, she didn't know anything about Andy. _'So it's nothing to serious?' _She asks. Janet shakes her head and smiles with the knowing that what she said wasn't a completely lie but it wasn't the real reason. Janet looks at her phone to see if Rachel had replied to last night's text, she hadn't. Whilst looking at the phone she sees the time, 5:50am. _'Love, I think you should go back to sleep its 5:50. I am going to get myself ready and go to work to get myself sorted and make sure everything is alright there. You can stay in my bed if you want, I will leave you to go back to sleep. I love you' _She get out and bed and walks round to where Elise was sitting, she bends over and kisses her goodbye. She goes into her wardrobe and takes out some clothes; she goes over the some draws and takes some underwear and tights. She walks into the bathroom and puts the shower on. Minutes later the shower stops and she begins to get dressed. She unplugs her hair dryer and takes it down stairs.  
Once everything is done she walks out the door and gets into her car. She drives to work; on her way to work she can see about 4 other cars around her. Reminding herself it is only 6:20 she gets to the office and sits herself at her desk. She is alone.  
Rachel gets into the office at 7:00. She can see Janet as she walks in the door. She walks over to her own desk and puts her bag down, she looks at Janet expecting to hear a _'Hello Rach' _or_ 'Good morning Rach' _instead she heard nothing. Not a word or a sigh, complete silence. After a few minutes of this silence Janet finally spoke. _'Did you have a goodnight last night?'_ she looked up. Her expression was blank; her glasses were on the tip of her nose. _'Yeah it was fine thanks.' _Rachel could feel a sense of uncertainty and sarcasm. _'Oh good, I'm glad.' _Janet pulls a sarcastic smile and puts her head back to her work. Rachel could now see that Janet was annoyed with her for some reason. _'Janet, have I done something wrong?' _Janet smiled. _'No, why would you think that?' _with a sarcastic tone. Janet has never really been a great liar to Rachel, she's tried in the past but it never works as she would always find out. _'You're being a bit off with me, really sarcastic and all that.' _Janet put her head down and went back to work. _'It's nothing really Rach, I got to bed at 3 woke up at 5. I had Elise in with me because she heard me crying, simple really.'  
_Rachel looked shocked _'What happened?'_ Janet laughed at her desk and looked up at Rachel. _'It's nothing important, I did tell you last night but you seemed busy.' _There was the tone of disappointment in her voice. Rachel closed her eyes and shook her head. _'I wasn't busy I just had an early night. I read your text when I woke up, I didn't reply as I just ran out of the house and came as soon as I could. I'm sorry if you thought I was ignoring you but I was asleep. So what's happened?'_ Janet began to well up. _'I went to Andy's house last night and we broke up. I feel so guilty about it. I went home and had dinner with Elise. We were talking, not about this though, about Ade. Then she went to bed around 10 or 11, I can't remember. I began to drink like I usually do when I feel like shit so I texted you. In the end I got to sleep at 3. I went to bed crying and woke up with her next to me. Like I said it's nothing important. It's just before all this happened I would have gone to Andy and he would have helped, now that it's over I can't go to anyone in same way.' _  
Rachel watched Janet as she began to cry, she rushed to her side and made her stand up to give her a hug. Janet pushed her head into Rachel's shoulder and began to cry heavily. _'Rach, I've fucked everything up and there isn't anything I can do about it.' _Rachel began to pat Janet on the back. _'No you haven't. You've been trying so hard to be so strong for everyone over what has happened you can't be strong all the time. I respect you so much for what did with Ade; he doesn't deserve you at all, you were too good for him. And the whole thing with Andy, he should understand. If he loves you as much as he makes out then you have nothing to worry about. He is most probably upset over what happened between you too; you could have, as they say 'break' his heart. I think you should tell Gill what has happened with everything soon, she deserves to know.'  
_Janet was gobsmacked; she looked at Rachel and smiled. _'I've never known Rachel Bailey to be so wise. I think I am going to tell Gill what has happened once the whole Geoff Hastings palaver is over. I just feel sorry for the girls, they are living with me and I am just being so miserable and upset, I try not to show them but they always seem to know if something is wrong. The whole thing with Andy has really upset me but I had to do it, I couldn't fully commit to him after what has happened, I would have hurt in other ways, I just know it.' _As Janet was finishing her sentence Gill walked in. _'Good morning ladies, oh Rachel another early morning for you...' _Rachel began to sarcastically laugh. '_...Janet, is that you?_' Janet's head was still buried in Rachel's shoulder. Her head rose from the shoulder and looked at Gill, who could easily tell that she had been crying. _'Janet what's happened?' _Janet looked at Rachel, Rachel shook her head. _'I just err... Stubbed my toe on the desk, I think it was the shock rather than the pain.'_ Gill could tell that she was lying but she didn't say anything to suggest that she knew. _'What are you like? Be careful next time. Look at Rachel being such a good friend.' _She walked into her office. Janet looked at Rachel. _'She knows something is wrong with you, she could tell you were lying.' _Janet nodded. _'Yeah I know, I will tell her I promise when it's all over.' _  
Andy walked into the room, Janet looked across at him, he, like Janet had also been crying. His eyes were red and swollen. He saw Janet and he looked down, from the first look she could tell that he was concerned about her, only he couldn't say anything as he was so hurt. _'We better get back to work'_ Rachel agrees and sits at her desk staring at Andy.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Gill peers around the door _'Janet, can you please come in my office?'  
_Janet looks at Rachel. _'What does she want?' _Janet shrugs and says _'I don't know, it shouldn't be about much. I will tell you when I come back.' _She gets up from her desk and watches Andy as she get up. She walks to the door. Janet is unaware that Andy is watching her every move, he watches her walk into her office and shut the door. Rachel is staring at him. _'WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?' _Andy snaps at Rachel. Rachel shakes her head and looks down. _'I can see why she would want to get rid of you.' _Andy face began to fill up with rage. _'What is that suppose to mean?' _Rachel gave Andy a '_nasty smile'_ as Janet used to call them. _'You know exactly what it's supposed to mean. You don't leave her alone; you barely gave her space to breathe. She wants to be able to do something without having you over her shoulders all the time. You say how much you care about her; if you really care you will do what she asks. She wants to be a friend, that's it. You should get over her and move on.'_ _  
_Janet is sitting in Gills office; she knew what was going to happen. As the interview is tomorrow Janet knows she has to prepare. Whenever she thinks about it all it makes her feel physically sick, she can only imagine what it's really going to be like. _'I don't want to scare you in any way but it is tomorrow. I know you are ready, I have got full faith in you, I've never said you can't do it. I have only got one major concern which came around from our conversation last night. I can see what this twisted twat has done to you, I can see how much this is all hurting you but you have to make sure all of your feelings are put aside as we can't have them inflicting on the case.' _Janet nods in agreement. _'I agree completely. I'm trying so hard to not let it get to me like it has been in the past. I'm trying to put all of my feelings aside and just focus on the task ahead but as I've said before it is just so difficult. I wouldn't wish for anyone to go through what I have to go through right now, not even any one I hate. I'm afraid I'm going to just disappoint everyone and fuck it all up. I've tried to not think about it as much as I can when I am at home, that way I can still love a normal life with my family...' _Janet takes a breath in and sighs _  
'...Elise is worried about me. I spent the evening with her last night, she made me dinner and we had a chat. By doing that it made me realise how much time I'm not spending with the girls, I've missed so much of their lives. I don't regret it one bit because I love this job...I just wish I was there for them more. With everything that happened last year with Geoff and stuff I got to spend time with them and now I know what I missed for all those years...I guess what I'm saying is what would have happened if I didn't survive what he did to me? The girls would be without their mother and he would have done that to them. I can put my feelings aside but if he pushes it too much I won't be able to do it anymore because he would have ruined it all.'  
_Gill looks at Janet blankly. She begins to well up. _'Look Janet, I'm sorry that you feel like that. You have to remember you survived all of this; you pulled through when we had all in a way given up. You were strong enough to do so. I couldn't be more proud of you even if I tried...' _She stops to take a breath. _'...I just hate the fact you feel the way you do, if I could have stopped all it from happening I would have done so and I hope you know that. What happened is now in the past and we have to move on, which I know sounds difficult and I can't expect you to do so. You are better than this piece of complete and utter shit, you were strong enough to pull through when none of us expected you to. You can do this. Think of it as a positive, in a weird way. In a non morbid way, that is. If this didn't happen to you, you never would have spent as much time with your amazing girls; you would never have known how we all really feel about you. We all love you Jan, we all love you so much. When you were on your way to the hospital I wanted to break down but I couldn't let you see me like that.' _Gill grabs a tissue from a draw in her desk. She looked at Janet and passed her a tissue.  
_'Gill; there is something I need to tell you. It isn't important and it can wait until after tomorrow as tomorrow is more important.' _Gill wipes her nose, with the still tissue around her nose she begins to speak. _'No, tell me now. There is obviously something on your mind, there has been for weeks. If you don't tell me now you may take it in with you tomorrow and we can let you be distracted.' _Janet prepares herself to tell her, she takes the tissue and blows her nose. She sighs and closes her eyes. Gill sits still in anticipation. _'A few weeks about me and Ade split up.' _Janet looks down at the floor and lets out a weeping sound, her back begins to jump. Her hands are brought up to her face and she pushes her hair away from her eyes smudging her previously perfect mascara as she cries harder. She grabs the tissue from her lap and wipes her eyes before she looks back up in embarrassment.  
Gill was shocked. _'I knew something was wrong, you know with your moods and you crying a lot of the time. I had no idea it was this serious though, what happened?' _Janet sighed. _'We just weren't getting on. We hadn't been getting on for ages, we would only pretend that everything was fine so we would believe it and forget about our problems. I was the one that made him leave; I had had enough of everything that he was doings. I'm not going into details about it now; I will tell you everything in time when I am ready to talk about it.' _Janet knew she would one day have to tell Gill about what had happened between her and Ade. It's not that she didn't trust Gill she just didn't want to worry her when it is so close to what would be a very important day for Janet. _'Okay, you can tell me when you are ready. Do the girls know he isn't going to come back?'_ Janet nods and wipes her eyes. _'I was up most of the night when it happened; I've been up most nights since. Elise is taking it better than Taisie but then again Taisie is still young. I just feel sorry for the girls, they were never supposed to see or hear anything that would ever happen. They were just in the wrong place at the wrong time I guess.'  
'Does anyone else know? I'm guessing Rachel does, you tell her everything.' _Janet looks out of Gills window at Rachel and looks at Andy. A small tear drop runs down her face. She turns back to Gill and nods. _'Rachel, Andy, you, Ade, Mum, Taisie, Elise. I'm not sure how many people Ade has told, he's most probably told everyone.'_ Gill hands Janet another tissue. _'I didn't think you would have told Andy, I've never really seen you to be that close to him.' _Janet tilts her head to the side _'well I've known him for years. Also the night it happened I decided to have a few drinks, I thought I texted Rachel but it turned out I texted Andy and he came round. We spoke about it then. He's helped a lot. He's a very good friend.' _Janet wipes her eyes.  
Back in the office Andy looks down in shame. _'She told you then?' _Rachel realises how this is affecting him. She nods _'How are you taking it?'_ Andy looks at Rachel _'Not well at all...'  
'Is it okay if I get back to work now? I don't really want to talk about it anymore, I will tell you more when I am ready, I promise.' _Gill nods. Janet gets up walks up to the door. She turns back to Gill. _'Thank you Gill, sorry I didn't tell you when it happened. I tried to act like it wasn't effecting me when really is has been.' _She turns back to the door. She opens the door and walks back to her desk. Andy was going to continue what he was saying before but now she was in the room he got his phone out and sent Rachel a text.  
All the text said was _'She has broken my heart.'_


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24  
_'Janet, your mascara is all down your face. You should to go the bath room to clean it up and sort yourself out.'_ Rachel says to Janet with a friendly reassuring smile. Janet touches her face which is still wet from the tears and looks at her hand. Her hand is covered in black mascara. She takes a tissue from her bag and wipes her fingers. She gets up from her desk and slowly walks to the toilet with her head down and her arms by her side. Rachel watches Janet as she walks through the doors on the way to the toilet and she quickly turns to Andy. _'What do you mean when you say she's broken your heart?' _Andy lets out a laugh and shakes his head. _'I don't think she ever understood what she meant to me. She was like a best friend but so much more. Now that I don't have her there isn't anyone I can go to. I was surprised she wanted me to start with, I'm not exactly problem free and that was obviously what she was looking for. I couldn't make her happy.'  
_Rachel was shocked at what Andy was telling her. _'I just want her to be happy and she obviously wasn't happy with me so I guess it had to happen.' _Rachel could hear the disappointment in his voice, it was the same tone Janet had in her voice when she was telling Rachel about all the things Ade would do to her and how it was her fault and no one else's. Andy was taking the blame for everything that was going wrong for Janet when really it wasn't his fault. Rachel knew the truth _'I know I could have fought for her. I know I could have done so much for her but I could tell she wasn't fully committed. It is all my fault. I shouldn't have made her stay if she didn't want to. She told me it wasn't my fault and that she was the one that couldn't do it. There is something wrong with me. No woman wants me no matter how much I love them.' _He began to get a little emotional. Rachel had never really been close to Andy, they automatically took a disliking to each other. Now Rachel saw him in this way she began to feel differently about him, she could see he wasn't as bad as she thought.  
Rachel never really understood what Janet saw in Andy. He's this tall thin man who isn't awful looking but he wouldn't catch your eye in a crowded room. The thing is Janet and Andy have history with each other, they both trained in the same place and became good friends through that. Janet did notice a change in him when she began to work for the MIT. He had become this closed down secretive quiet person, a completely different person to who Janet had known before. It wasn't that he was horrible, in some ways he was nicer. Janet could talk to him properly over important things. Whilst everything was happening with Ade Janet would enjoy coming into work just so she could see a man that wasn't horrible to her, someone who respected her.  
_'Look Andy, I can tell you as a fact Janet still cares about you. She didn't do what she did to you to hurt you; she just can't do it at the moment as she isn't in a good place with everything that is happening. She never meant to hurt you; she values you too much as a person. With everything that happened with Ade she just couldn't rush into anything with the worry of what happened then to happen to her again as it hurt her too much.'_ Andy nodded along to what Rachel was saying until she mentioned Ade. _'What did Ade do to her?' _He asks with a concerned tone to his voice. He knew that what she may tell him won't be good. Rachel knew that she has dug herself a hole which is going to be difficult to get out of. _'She hasn't told you?' _he shakes his head.  
_'I don't know if I should tell you. It's not my secret to tell. She hasn't told anyone else, only I know.' _It was now clear to Andy it was bad. His eyes began to water. Rachel had to decide if it was the right thing for her to do. Could she do it to her best friends? Could she tell one of her biggest secrets to someone that cares so much about her that he is blaming himself for everything that has happened? Rachel knows that if she tells him she will be betraying her best friends trust but she can see that the man in front of her is having his heart broken because of this secret. It is a difficult decision but she knows what she has to do.  
Janet comes back from the toilet with a fresh face of makeup on, her face was still slightly red but it takes a while for her face to go down after she had been crying. As she walks in she could feel there was some tension in the air, it was so strong that she could 'cut it with a knife' as many people like to say. _'Oh what's happened in here?' _She says in a jokey tone. Rachel looks at her, her face is pale and she has an expression on her face of guilt. Janet stares at her frowning. She then faces Andy; he is looking at his desk. Tears are slowly rolling down his face as he tries to hide the fact he has just been told something that is so awful about the person he loves. _'Jan I am so sorry. I had to tell him the truth.' _Janet knew what Rachel was talking about. _'Shut your mouth Rach, why would you tell him?' _  
_'Janet, can I please talk to you?' _A voice rises from the head facing the desk. Andy turns and looks at Janet, the tears are now flowing faster down his face. He stands up; his hands are shaking as he points to the door. As they talk out Janet turns and glares at Rachel. Rachel watches them leave and she slams her head on her desk. Rachel had reasons for telling him. She didn't just do it to hurt Janet, she isn't like that. She did it because she believes Andy has the right to know, especially after they have been through so much together. Andy could also tell that Janet wasn't completely telling the truth when she told him what had happened between her and Ade; he didn't want to say anything because she was drunk so it would have just sounded like drunken nonsense.  
They walk through the door and stand on the stair shaft. _'Why didn't tell me Janet?' _Janet couldn't think of a reply.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Janet was stood there staring at Andy trying to think of something to say. Andy repeats what he said before. _'Why didn't you tell me Janet?'_ Janet closed her eyes and began to say what she was really feeling. _'I didn't tell you because really you had no reason to know. This had and well has nothing to do with you. It's over and now there is no need to bring it up ever again. I didn't ask for her to tell you because I couldn't, I didn't even know why she was telling you my business anyway. Also when we were together you never left me alone so what would you have been like if you knew the truth? You wouldn't let me out of your sight in the knowing of what had happened. Why would I want you to go through that?' _Janet could tell that Andy was upset. _'I just don't get why you didn't just tell me. You know I wouldn't tell anyone. You've known me for years yet you've known Rachel for 5 minutes and you tell her your whole life story. What the fuck is that all about?'  
_Janet was now getting angry. _'Rachel is my best friend, it's different to what you and I have. I don't care that you wouldn't tell anyone, I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to know. Gill doesn't even know. The only reason I told Rachel was because she there when I was thinking about it. I wouldn't dare mention it otherwise. Also to be completely honest I don't have to tell you because it's my choice. I'm sure there are things you haven't told me, I'm sure there's things you haven't told anyone around here. What makes you any different to me?' _He just stood looking at her. _'Exactly you have no idea. So just drop it, you have no right for having a go at me when you are oblivious to it all.' _  
Andy does have a secret. No one apart from Gill knows about what happened. It was put onto his record so she would find out anyway. He isn't proud about what happened; he doesn't talk about it or brag about it. He doesn't think anyone would brag about what he went through. He loved her and she left him, it was an embarrassment and it brought him shame. He didn't cope well with it; he slowly broke down until there was nothing left to him. It was like she had stripped him away of who he was and what was left behind was a quiet, untrusting and secretive man. It's amazing what one woman can do to a man like Andy. He knew why Janet wouldn't want to tell him about what Ade did to her; he didn't want to tell her about his ex wife. He was just hurting that she hadn't told him. He considered them as very good friends; friends tell each other stuff like that. Which sounds completely hypocritical; so he couldn't answer. How could he tell her? It wasn't something he would have been able to slip into a casual conversation. He didn't tell her because he didn't want to face it all again.  
Andy got all emotional. _'You know what Janet you are right; I will drop it because I have no idea what it's like to get hurt in any way.'_ He shouted.He continues to walk down the stairs leaving Janet there alone. The time she had spent in the toilet sorting out her makeup was now going to waste. She had her back against the wall; she slid down and sat on the floor. She just sat there for a few minutes staring into a space letting all the thoughts in Janet's head run through over and over again. After awhile she decided to get up and walk back into the office. Gill was sitting on Janet's desk talking to Rachel. Janet had noticed that Rachel and Gill were a lot closer after their trip together. _'Are you alright Jan?' _Gill asks. Janet nods and reaches for her bag. She pulls out a tissue and wipes her eyes. _'Yeah, I'm fine. I've just got a cold and it's affecting my eyes.' _She looks at Rachel, disappointment filled her face. Rachel looks at Janet. Janet could tell that she was sorry about everything that had happened. _'Right ladies, I have to get back to work. I will see you soon.' _She gets up and walks into her office.  
_'I'm so sorry Jan, I shouldn't have done it.' _Janet sits in her chair; she puts her hands in her hair. _'Yeah you shouldn't have done it. You are old enough to know when not to tell a secret. You may have had a reason to do so but that doesn't mean I condone what you did. You were out of line and I did not deserve that.' _Rachel wasn't used to Janet having ago at her, she sometimes raises her voice but never like this. Rachel knew she was wrong. _'I'm really sorry Jan.' _Janet looked at Rachel. _'Well Rach, sorry doesn't always make it better. You taught me that.'_ Rachel began to make up excuses. _'Look Janet, I know I did wrong but it wasn't my fault. He deserves to know.' _Janet looked at Rachel with anger written across her face. _'I don't want to hear your excuse Rachel. You shouldn't have done this and you know it. You wouldn't like it if I would do it to you would you?' _Rachel shakes her head. _'Exactly, so how do you think I feel? He knows a secret about me that one, I'm not proud of and two, I told you in confidence. I don't just go blurting out your secrets because I feel someone 'deserves to know' I keep quiet and I respect your choice of not telling them.  
_There were a couple of minutes silence, Rachel didn't speak at all. Janet began to calm down. Rachel finally spoke. _'Janet I'm really sorry, I didn't know what was going to happen. I didn't know he was going to talk to you about it. If I had known I wouldn't have said anything.' _Janet stayed in silence. _'Are you really pissed off with me?' _Rachel asks with a hint of desperation in her voice. _'I'm not angry or pissed off. I'm just...' _Janet looks for the right word to say _'...I'm just disappointed, that's all. I can get over it.'_


	26. Chapter 26

**Melissa knows how long this chapter has taken for me to write, with her help I have finally finished it and I can now move onto the more interesting stuff that happens later on. Sorry if it isn't very interesting, I didn't really know what else to do. It's just clueing Gill into the fact something has happened to Andy and she will later find out it was Janet, as you already know.  
Thank you very much Melissa xxx**

Chapter 26

It had been awhile before Andy came back up. Janet and Rachel were sat in silence and Gill was in her office, as usual. Everyone else who had been in the office was gone as they were out doing some door to door questioning. When Andy finally came up his face was bright red, his eyes were swollen and his nose was obviously blocked. He had tried his hardest to show that it wasn't affecting him but he couldn't hide it. He didn't want anyone to see what he was really like when things go wrong, he tried to stay strong. He walked into the office and sat down. Janet had her head to her work when he walked in; she followed him in with her eyes until he was completely out of her eye range.  
Gill swings round her door way. _'Andy, can I have a word?' _Andy gets up, wipes his eyes with his sleeve and walks into her office closing the door behind him. _'Andy what is wrong? I haven't seen you like this since, well you know.' _Andy sighed. He didn't want to tell Gill about him and Janet or anything that Ade had done to Janet. He knew he had already annoyed Janet enough for one day. He loved her so much that he doesn't want to hurt her again. _'It's nothing Gill, I'm fine. Things just aren't going great at the moment.' _Gill sighed; she could see where this was going. It was the same as what had happened before. Andy was in the same state then that he is in now. She was afraid that the same thing would happen to him that happened then.  
In less than 24 hours things have gone from perfect to bad to even worse for Andy. He has lost the one woman he has ever truly loved. He blames himself for everything that has happened to him be it the problems he had with his first wife to the problems he was now facing with Janet. He couldn't talk to her properly after what had just happened in the risk of breaking down in front of her and he can't do that to her. Even if she doesn't love him he still loves her exactly the same as he did before. In Andy's eyes Janet is perfection, she could never do any wrong to anyone, even though she had broken up with him the night before and just had a huge go at him. In his mind he deserved it, he didn't have to mention it to her, and he didn't have to make Rachel tell him.  
Gill was just leaning against her desk staring continuously at Andy; she could tell something was wrong with him. _'You aren't leaving here until you tell me what's wrong.' _Andy again was trying to show nothing was wrong with him. Even though he tried so hard to keep in it he couldn't. A tear ran down his long face. _'I went home early yesterday to get things ready for my girlfriend; I don't if I should call her that. She was more a friend that I got close to when she needed me and our relationship sparked. Well she did come round last night but she didn't stay. She...' _Andy is getting more upset. _'...she broke up with me instead. I know I shouldn't let things like this affect me the way they are. It's not that it is a huge shock, I was expecting it some time, I guess just not now. Not with everything we have been through recently. And I know I shouldn't bring my problems to work with me but I just don't want the same thing to happen that happened last time.'  
_Gill could see the pain Andy was going through because it was such a rare feeling that he would display. Andy wasn't a man that would go around showing his feelings on his sleeve, they were his secret. He chose when and who to show them to. Janet was the only person that he showed them to. She doesn't know exactly what happened to him, no one knows exactly what happened to him. Gill only knows what is written on his file which is different to his true feelings. The same goes for Gill; she isn't the most affectionate person. She tends to stay strong in the hardest of situations. Like when Janet was stabbed, she didn't even think twice about anything she did. She stayed strong for Janet because she knew that what she had to do to, also because Rachel wasn't being much help. Gill is only ever comfortable around Janet to show her real emotions, anyone else she tried to keep them in.  
_'Oh Andy, I know what you are going through. When Dave left I felt exactly the same as you do right now, he was at it with a younger, prettier woman. Whoever this woman is isn't worth it, you are better than her. She obviously can't see what she's missing. I'm not meaning this in a 'let's get together way' I'm saying it in a colleague to colleague way. You have been through so much already that she isn't helping with anything. You say you love her, you can love her but you shouldn't be left feeling like this. Try and forget about her when you are at work, hopefully work will be a good distraction from it all. You can cope with this, you've survived worse.' _Andy never said who it was that he was with to Gill, when she said use work as a distraction it wouldn't be as easy as he may hope it to be.  
His desk is 5ft away from Janet's; when she walks past him he can smell her. Some of her things are still at his house, not many things, just enough so he doesn't forget. There are texts on his phone which he doesn't want to delete from her; they mean so much to him. They park their cars next to each other; he sits opposite her in the case meetings. He cannot escape her even if he tried to get away.  
Gill walks up to this tall, pale man who has tears rolling down his slightly pink cheeks and puts her arms around his waist. Andy is in shock, he didn't know what to do. This was unusual for Gill; the only person that anyone had seen her hug was Janet and Sammy. Andy just stood there like a pole and let Gill squeeze him. Once everything had sunk in to him he puts his arms on her back and tapped it.  
Janet was looking in through the office window; she was watching the whole thing. Rachel was looking at Janet; the guilt was still on her back.  
Gill let go of Andy and Andy let go of Gill. She looked at him. _'Are you gonna be okay?' _She gave him a friendly smile. He nodded. _'Thanks for listening Gill, sorry for bothering you at such a busy time.'_ Gill laughed. _'If I can't be here for you now then what's the point of me being here.' _She lets out a huge laugh. Janet looks at Gill. She is curious about what is going on in there. _'I'm going to get back to work now. Give you time to prepare for tomorrow as it is really important.'  
_Andy walks up to the door and opens it; he steps out and closes it behind him. Tears are still running down his cheeks. He looks at Janet and looks down. He felt his heart literally breaking inside his chest. There was going to be that pain every time he looked at her and there wasn't anything anybody could do about it. He will just have to put up with it until things improve.  
In Janet's head she wants to talk to Andy and ask if he is okay.

Instead she stays silent.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

It was easy to tell that Andy was feeling uncomfortable. Everyone else was out; the only people in the office were Andy, Janet and Rachel with Gill in her office. Of course there was still some tension in the atmosphere; that would be expected when something like this happens in a work place. ***VIBRATE* **Janet looks at her phone on her desk. She opens the message _'Janet I am sorry. I hope we are still friends over everything that has happened. I want you to understand that when I told him I wasn't really thinking about what would happen afterwards, heat of the moment type of thing. I know I stepped over the line and you have every right to be angry at me. I am just really, really sorry.' _Janet looks up from her desk. Rachel is sitting just looking at her. Janet smiles as if to say _'It's okay Rach.' _ Janet began tapping at her phone in reply to the text. _'Rach its fine, I may have slightly over reacted in the way I dealt with it. It's all water under the bridge now. Well it is between us two. I'm pretty sure he hates me and he told Gill everything, I wouldn't be surprised if she called me into her office sometime soon to give me chapter and verse about being so secretive and why didn't I go to her.'_ She sends the text and waits for Rachel to read it. Once Rachel reads it she replies. _'Do you want to go to the pub later? We can talk about it all there?'_ Janet gets the text and nods eagerly with a smile.  
For the rest of the afternoon Janet had to prepare for her interview. It wasn't a normal interview where she could just waltz in and talk to them like she normally would. It was something special to her, something that was important. Usually the interview doesn't affect her; she can walk in, talk to them and come out the other end exactly the same as when she walked in. This time it was different. It may have been the fact that this man tried to kill her that made her hate him so much. The case as a whole is a very high profile one. If it hadn't involved Janet in the way that it did it may not have been that different to any other one. It was different from the others; Janet had her own personal interest to the case even before Geoff tried to kill her. She knew Veronica when she was little, they weren't the best of friends but they were friends. Janet never knew the proper truth about what had happened until she asked Gill if she could have that case. It was then when she went to get the paper work and read through it all she knew. Her mum had mentioned something to her as she was growing up but it never occurred to her that Veronica had died.  
To Janet it felt like she was preparing for this interview for years. She spent hours just going through possible scenarios and how she should handle them. She got asked series of questions to make sure she was up for questioning him. Once she had been tested and found to be '_mentally sound' _as Gill said to her. Janet didn't feel _'mentally sound', _if she was to be completely honest she was the complete opposite, but of course she won't tell anyone that. She then went into a room with Mitch to discuss ways that they can communicate with each other without talking. There were movements which were so subtle that you wouldn't be able to recognise it, Mitch and Janet were trained in stuff like this. Once all her preparation had ended Gill took her aside. _'You still want to do this? It's never too late to back out.' _Janet nods and Gill smiles. On her way back up to the office Janet walked past Andy who was going home. He looked lifeless, like there was nothing left inside of him anymore. It was a few quick seconds that they passed each other. In those few seconds Janet could tell exactly how he was feeling, as she was feeling the same.  
Janet got to her desk and sat down; she puts her elbows on the desk and puts her head in her hands. Rachel tilts her head to the side and speaks. _'Are you sure you still want to go out tonight?' _Janet lifts her head up slightly. _'You know what I want to do?' _Rachel shakes her head. _'I want to get so pissed that I can't speak or stand. It may make this pain go away.' _She closes her eyes and rubs her head. _'I've got a huge head ache; I've had it most of the day. I've taken everything to make it go away, nothing has worked. I think its stress. That's why I want a drink, and then I will calm down and not be as stressed.' _Rachel stands up, walks over to the coat stand and picks up her coat and then takes Janet's. She walks over and hands it to Janet. Janet stays seated and puts her coat on, grabs her bag from under the desk and stands up. _'Let's go.' _She says with a huge smile.  
On the way to the pub Janet and Rachel just have a general chat. There wasn't really any point in talking until they get to the pub and then they could talk properly. _'So Rach how are you?' _For the past few weeks things at work had been focused more on Janet than Rachel. They all knew why, the interview is so important to everyone. Rachel seems a little surprised when Janet asks. _'I'm fine thanks Jan, no one has asked me that in ages. Nothing interesting has really happened to me recently. Life is a little boring.' _Janet looks at Rachel and smiles. _'I'm glad you are okay. Yeah sorry about that, everyone has been so busy making sure I'm okay with everything that they aren't making sure others are okay. If I'm going to be completely honest it is annoying me more having people constantly ask me if I'm alright. They need to back off.' _  
Rachel and Janet arrive at the pub. They walk up to the bar and Rachel orders the drinks. _'One bottle of red wine and two glasses please.' _Once everything is paid for they take a seat and start to pour the wine out. Andy is sitting in the corner of the pub alone. Rachel and Janet not notice him but he notices them. _'How can that bitch still come and have a drink with that 'friend' after everything that has happened today? Does she really not care at all? She's obviously got a little memory of what Rachel has done to her.' _He just sits and stares at them talking to each other.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

'_Is everything alright with you and Sean?' _Janet asks Rachel smirking behind her glass. _'Yeah, we are getting on fine. It's been lovely actually.'_ Janet nods still smiling. _'Have you...' _Janet starts laughing _'...you know.' _Rachel didn't really want to tell Janet what she has been up to with Sean, even though Janet was Rachel's best friend she still saw that type of thing as her own business. _'Janet Scott, I am surprised at you. I think all this wine has gone to your head. Even if I had done something with Sean I wouldn't tell you.' _There is a pause and they both break out in hysterical laughter. _'All I can say is that he is amazing. It is now up to you to decide if I am talking about in the bedroom or just generally.'_  
Andy is still watching them. The anger is building up inside of him. _'Great and now she is laughing. She's most probably talking about me and how ridiculous I am for crying in front of her, and that awful friend of hers, she's most probably laughing at me to. Does she just expect me to just sit around and watch her slip away from me further? Even though she is doing all of this to me I still can help but love her. I didn't do anything to her that would make her do this to me...' _He finishes his drink and says _'...I could just be over thinking things. They never looked at me; I don't think they know I am here. I better leave soon.'  
_Rachel goes to the bar and gets another bottle of wine. Whilst she's there Janet looks at her phone, she looks over the messages that she still had from Andy. She couldn't bring herself to delete them, they still meant so much to her. She looks over to the bar to see if she could see Rachel, as she turns her head back to her phone she catches Andy in the corner of her eye. He is walking out of the pub, he looks directly at her. She could see what she had done to him. In those few seconds she could see everything, she could see the pain that she has caused.  
Rachel returns with a new bottle in her hand. _'Jan? What's happened? You look like you've just seen a ghost.' _Janet is still looking at the door way. She turns to talk to Rachel. She could feel the tears forming in her eyes, she didn't want to cry. She thought she was over this, that it was all over so she could move on. She tries to hold the tears back from Rachel. _'I've ju...' _She takes in a deep breath. _'...I've just seen...'_ The tears began to fall. It takes her a moment to compose herself. _'I've just seen Andy, I just watched him walk away. I saw the pain in him. I caused that pain Rach; I made him feel this worthless.' _Rachel put her arm around Janet. _'Look Janet, you did what you had to do. You weren't ready for a new relationship so you told him. You weren't horrible about it, you did it nicely and you said you wanted to be friends. He's the one that is making him feel worse. He can't accept that.' _Janet nods in agreement. _'I guess you're right. I just feel so guilty, I know he still 'loves' me, I think I feel the same. I just can't do it yet.'  
_Rachel feels partly responsible for Janet's guilt. She knows what she did wasn't right. She's surprised that Janet had forgiven her for what she did. _'Jan? Why did you forgive after what I did to you today?'_ Rachel looked at Janet as she was drinking her drink. Janet took a while to respond. Janet glanced at Rachel and laughed. _'I forgave you because I know you told him for a reason. I don't think you set out today to piss me off, you didn't wake up planning to do this. It's just the way the day went. I wasn't in your situation so I may have over reacted in the way I handled it. Not saying he did, but for all I know Andy could have threatened you; I should have listened to why you told him. Now that it's over I don't really want to talk about it. Forgiven and forgotten.' _Jane smiles, Rachel smiles back weakly.  
_'Are you ready for tomorrow?'_ Rachel asks Janet. Janet lets out a small laugh. _'I don't think I will ever be ready for it, no matter how much I prepare myself. Everyone is making it out to be this massive thing and it's really not. It's just like any other interview I have done, well maybe a little different as this man tried to kill me.' _She pauses and just stares at Rachel. She looks at her watch. _'I have to go, it's getting late and I have a big day tomorrow. I will speak to you tomorrow.' _ With the bottle of wine now finished Janet begins to get ready to walk home. She stands up and puts her coat on; she puts her bag around her wrist and picks her phone up. She walks over to Rachel and puts her arms around her. _'Thanks for the drink, it's really helped.' _She releases and smiles and walks out the door.  
On her way home Janet began to think again, she thought about what had happened and what was going to happen tomorrow. This scared her, she didn't know what to expect.  
When she got into the house everyone was already in bed. She snuck upstairs, got ready for bed and went into the bathroom to brush her teeth. As she picked up her toothbrush her hand began to shake. _'Must be nerves setting in.' _she thought to herself. Once she had finished in the bathroom she got into bed, turned the lamp off and fell into a deep sleep, she began to dream.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

_Janet is sitting on the centre of her bed by herself, her knees are tucked up to her chin with her legs crossed and tears are rolling down her face. The curtains are drawn with only a slit of light peering through the small gap. The moon light is reflecting off her tears, she gives her hand to her face and wipes her tears; she then wipes her mouth and looks at her hand. A car passes her window which makes a small flickering light brighten the room. She can see her blood is on the finger tips, dark red and still wet. She grabbed the duvet cover with the bloody hand and wouldn't let go. After a while she slowly uncrosses her legs and straightens them out with great pain. Blood was also running down her knees from when she fell through the glass coffee table in the living room. She looked across to the doorway in her room, there were blood stains dragging along the floor making their way to the bed. She pulls herself onto her knees and crawls across the edge of the bed, she plants her feet on the carpet and walks toward the full length mirror across the room.  
She stands looking at herself in the mirror. Her clothes are somewhere scattered around the house from where he removed them. She is left in her underwear feeling awful about herself. She puts her hand to her stomach; she touches the bruises and clenches her fist. The bruises on her stomach, back, arms and legs are all a purple/blue colour with darker patches. After being hit over and over again in the same spots the bruises won't go away. Some are old and some are new but they are still as painful as they first were. Her breathing becomes heavier and pushed through her teeth. Tears fall quickly down her face and her nose begins to run. Once she has finished looking at her bruises she sat on the floor rocking herself, gradually backwards and forwards with a slight break for her to let out quiet cries.  
She reaches for her neck, the most recent bruise. Four fingers one side of her neck, a palm in the centre of her and a thumb bruise under her jaw, this was the handprint of the man that she thought she loved. When she was downstairs*flashback* he grabbed her by the neck and pushed her up against the wall, she began to struggle. He grabbed her by the wrists and pushed her into the glass coffee table.*flashback over*Glass shards are stuck in her hands, the blood is dried up. She begins to cry more. The tears fall onto her hands and it burns. She drags herself over to the bed and lifts herself up, letting out occasional groans.  
She stumbles into the bathroom to run herself a bath, she sits on the side of the bath as the hot water trickles into the tub. She leans forward so her chest is resting on her thighs. She brings her head up and looks into the bathroom cupboard. She rummages around looking for her old pain killers that she had to have when she got out of hospital once she had been stabbed. There were about 12 left in the packet. She emptied a five into her hand, enough to take the pain away. The bath had finished running, she took her remaining clothes off and she got in. When the water touched her knees and hands she began to scream. Tears were rolling down her face in pain. The painkillers hadn't kicked in yet and the water hadn't had any cold water added.  
After awhile the pain began to ease off it turned into a numbing feeling. She began to wash her neck, arms, stomach, back and legs trying to wash the bruises off which she can't do. This made her distressed and made her begin to cry.  
Janet could hear footsteps coming up the stairs and enter her room. The bathroom door opened; there is a shadow of a man standing in the way not letting the light in. Janet knew who it was; she cornered herself in the bathtub and closed her eyes to get the image out of her head. The man walks over to the bath and sits on the side. He leans down and touches Janet's neck, he then grabs her neck like he did downstairs and pushes her under the water. He moves his hand from her neck to over the nose and face, drowning her. She began to struggle, water was splashing everywhere. Then there was nothing, no movement from Janet, it was silent. The man walked out of the bathroom and walked back down stairs. _

Janet wakes up in her bed panting, sweating, screaming and crying. She sat up quickly in bed and looked around. She looked at the floor, there was nothing there. She checks her knees and hands, nothings there. She looks at her wrists, only faded bruises. Her stomach has got its scar and bruising, that bruising won't go away, she knows that. To make sure nothing had happened she went into the bathroom to check her medicine, they were all there.  
_'Just a nightmare' _she says to herself.


	30. Chapter 30

****Chapter 30

*Janet begins to think to herself*  
_'I'm scared. I'm really, really scared. He could have done that to me, he would have done it if he was given the chance. He said he loved me, I think he hated me really. Both feelings are so strong he must have just been confused. I never knew what to make of him, he would be so lovely one minute, and then he would just lash out. He would apologise afterwards but I guess that didn't always make it better. I would say it was fine, that's only because he wouldn't stop. He would stop apologising until I told him it was fine. I do ask myself why I didn't leave when it first started to happen. I guess it was easier said than done. I was hardly ever home anyway, when I was at work it never happened so I felt safe. That could have been a reason for me staying longer then I would have had to. I wouldn't have to go home to the angry man. As if things couldn't get worse I have to interview the bastard today. I have no thought on him; it doesn't deserve my time thinking about him. I don't know why I said I would talk to him. I don't want to talk to him, he scares me.'_  
Janet lies in bed for a few more minutes to think about the dream she has just had. It wasn't like any other dream; no dream of hers has ever been this realistic. She finally gets out of her bed and walks over to the full length mirror that is in the corner of the room by the bay window. She looks at herself, examining every part of her body for bruises, cuts and scars. She lifts her pyjama top up to check her stomach and hips. Nothing appears to be new, no new bruise, no new scars, and no new cuts. One thing catches her eye, the big deep scar on her side by her ribs. Her hand slowly reaches towards it and gently touches it. There is no feeling in it what so ever. She begins to poke it, still nothing. She pokes it harder, the pain is now there. She moves her hand puts her top down. She goes to have a shower, comes out and gets dressed. She heads down stairs to find Elise sitting at the table eating breakfast. Opposite her there is a slice of toast and a cup of coffee. _'I made you breakfast. I thought you would be too busy this morning to make yourself something, with the interview being today.' _ Janet smiles as Elise, _'Thank you love. It's very sweet of you.' _She sits down and begins to eat. _'How did you sleep last night?' _Elise asks Janet. Janet takes a bite of her toast and slowly munches as she tried to think of an acceptable answer. _'Rather well to be honest, considering what is going to happen. I was expecting worse.' _Elise looks at Janet with a questioning look. Janet begins to panic, whilst she was sleep she could have been screaming for all she knew._ 'Oh good, I was just concerned as I thought you may not have slept at all. I'm glad it was alright though.' _Elise gives Janet a reassuring smile. Janet isn't sure if Elise is telling the truth or if she knows Janet didn't sleep to well.  
She looks at her watch and sees the time. She takes the last bite of her toast and the final bit of her coffee. _'I have to go now love.' _She walks around the table and kisses Elise on the forehead. _'Bye mum, good luck for today. You will do fine.'_ Janet takes her bags from by her chair and waves goodbye. She walks over to the door and opens it. The door slams behind her. It is raining outside; she quickly runs to the car and gets in. She puts the stuff on the back seat. Her phone goes off, _'Janet, can you please come and pick me up? I over slept and Sean's taken the car.'_ Janet laughs to herself. _'I'm on my way. Be ready.' _With the keys in the ignition and her foot on the peddle Janet drives round to Rachel's house. Rachel is waiting in the door way for Janet to arrive. Janet pulls up and Rachel runs to car trying to avoid getting wet. _'Hello my lovely friend.' _She smiles widely. _'Hello Rach, you are only saying that because I'm giving you what you want.' _Janet looks across at Rachel and laughs. _'Rach, I'm only joking. Well, it is partly true.'_ Rachel laughs sarcastically. She turns to face Janet as she is driving. _'How are you Jan?' _She looks at her; Janet can see her from the corner of her eye. _'I'm fine...' _she glances at Rachel _'...well I'm not fine but I'm okay. I'm just scared about what's going to happen today. I don't feel ready.' _They pull into work. _'Everything will be fine, we can go to the toilet to sort yourself out before you go in. You will do great.' _  
They park up the car and walk in together. Gill runs up behind them. _'Ladies wait. Janet I want to go over a few things before it kicks off. Rachel? Could you leave me to have a quick word with Janet?' _ Rachel walks away from Janet and Gill walking down the corridor. She goes into the office. Kevin is sitting at his desk, as she walks in he can't help but look at her with his mouth wide open. _'Close your mouth, you will catch flies.' _He closes his mouth and looks down at his work. Gill and Janet walk into the toilet. The toilet seems to be the meeting point for the women whenever something major happens. _'Do you think you are ready?' _She asks. Janet walks over the mirror. _'No, not really, it has to be done. Once it is over I will be happy.' _They look at each other. Gill can't help but feel sorry for Janet. She did ask for this to happen to her. She could tell that she never wanted to do it, that she only did it to keep Gill happy.  
They talk for a little longer about irrelevant things that aren't really anything to do with the case. _'Is it okay if I come in now?' _Rachel says through the door, she is leant up again. Janet laughs and looks at Gill. Gill nods and begins to walks towards the door. _'Yeah Rach you can, Gill was just about to leave.' _The door opens and Rachel walks in, she glares at Janet through the mirror as Gill walks out. _'What did she want?' _Rachel says with a slight tone of spite in her voice. _'She just wanted to check up on me, make sure I was alright and everything. Then we had a lovely chat about you.' _Rachel looked up and her eyes widened. _'I'm only pulling your leg Rach, we didn't talk about you.' _Rachel sighs in relief. _'She really doesn't like me.'_ Janet tuts. _'Of course she likes you, if she didn't like you she wouldn't let you work for her, would she?' _Janet could see Rachel processing what she had just said to her. _'I guess so.' _Rachel laughs. _'Rach, I'm scared' _Janet looks at Rachel, she looks as if she could cry at any moment. _'Right, so what's the worst thing that could happen?' _Janet looks at her shaking hands. _'I lose control. I tell him what I think of him. You evil, pathetic, cowardly, nasty, worm shaped little shit bag. You know that sort of thing.' _Rachel gives a slight smile. _'You won't say that, will you?' _Janet shakes her head; her voice begins to break a little more. _'I keep thinking about Veronica. Six years old, with bad teeth and a pretend leather coat. And seventy...' _Janet lets out a little sigh'_... eighty years of fresh air ahead of her._' Rachel leans closer into Janet. _'If you don't want to do it, tell her.' _Janet thinks about it. _'I do. I do want to do it. I want to squeeze every last drop of information out of him. For all those mums and dads and brothers and sisters and husbands and children and anyone else whose life he's cast a bloody long shadow over.' _A small tear forms in the corner of Janet's eye, she wipes it with her sleeve. Rachel watches her throughout. _'His lawyer has gone in with him.' _She looks at Janet, not knowing what to expect. _'Let's go' _Janet says with a slight hesitation to her voice.  
_'I don't care what you think. She's ready. We've been over everything that could possibly come up. You have to trust her!' _As usual whenever Gill was faced with her ex-husband Dave Murray an argument would always be close. Normally Gill would make a small remark about how he ran off with some young blonde. It made Gill laugh, even though she was hurting. Janet walks into the office. _'Janet can you please come in here?' _Gill calls from her office. Janet walks over to the door; she walks in and closes it behind her. _'Hello sir.' _She puts her face to the floor. _'Janet, do you think you are ready for this?' _Janet nods. _'I believe I am yes. I've had all the appropriate training and things should go fine.' _She smiles at Gill. Gill gives Dave a smirk. _'I think we should go now.' _Janet walks out of her office; Mitch stands up and joins her. Gill quickly closes the door. _'I told you she was ready.' _  
_'Of course I will sit in for the first half an hour or so, I will then leave and expect updates every fifteen minutes.' _Gill laughs. _'You can expect all you like, I am not taking my eye off of Janet for five minutes, that way I won't need to update you will I?'_ She turns around to Janet and winks. She lets out a little giggle. Dave walks into the room next to the interrogation room, the room with all the computer screens in it. From that room you can look directly into the interview. Cameras pointing in different directions, microphones scattered around. This will pick up every sound and movement.  
Janet, Gill and Mitch all walk into the interrogation room. Geoff had not yet been released into the room. They had a look around. The table was where it usually was, two chairs were tucked underneath. She looks up to the cameras in the corner and nods. Her hands begin to shake. She grabs her left hand with her right hand. Mitch takes a seat in one of the chairs that is tucked under the table; he puts his note pad on the table .Two chairs were just next to the table. Two folders were on the table. Janet walks up to them and opens the first file. It is Veronica's case file. She reads it.

**Manchester Police Department  
Law Enforcement Incident Report  
Case File 1**

Page 1 of 1

**INCIDENT DATA**

Incidence type: **Murder  
**Address of Occurrence: **Manchester Canal**  
Date Reported: **27/02/74  
**Time Reported: **1334 **HRS  
Officer Assaulted or killed: **No  
**Weapon or Object Used: **No  
**Reporting Officer: **CIO** **TOM WALTERS  
**Other Officers Notified: **NOT ON FILE**

****

Arrival Time: **1347 HRS**  
Time of Call: **1334  
**Processed by: **NOT ON FILE  
**Domestic: **No  
**Arson Related: **No  
**Officer Injured: **No**

**VICTIM**

Name: **HASTINGS, VERONICA  
**Date of Birth: **09/05/64 **Age: **6  
**Home Address: **52 MARKS LANE**  
**OLDHAM, GREATER MANCHESTER **Occupation: **Child, FTE  
**

Sex: **FEMALE **Place of Birth: **OLDHAM  
**Marital Status: **SINGLE**

**KNOWN SUSPECT**

Name: **HASTINGS, GEOFF  
**Date of Birth: **06/07/60  
**Home Address: **52 MARKS LANE  
OLDHAM, GREATER MANCHESTER  
**Occupation: **WORKER IN NEWSAGENTS **

Physical Description: (Age): ** 51 **(at the time 10)**  
**(Height): **165-172  
**(Weight): **132 lbs  
**Build: **MED **(at the time small)**  
**Eye Colour: **BRO  
**Injured: **UNKNOWN**

Relation: ** Brother  
**Sex: **MALE **Place of Birth: **OLDHAM  
**Marital Status: **SINGLE **

Hair Colour: **BRO/GRY **(at the time brown)**  
**Hair Length: **SHORT/MEDIUM  
**Facial Hair: **NONE**

**Charges  
**Murder of Veronica Hastings

***FLASHBACK to Janet at 16 years old* **  
_'Love, do you remember you're old school friend Veronica?' _Janet looks up at her mum who is preparing her dinner. _'I think so, she was the one with the bad teeth and the pretend leather jacket wasn't she?' _Janet says. _'Yeah that's the one. Well they found her body in the canal.' _Janet opens her mouth in shock. _'You mean she's dead?' _a slight tone of disbelieve for was in her voice. _'Yeah love, I thought you knew. She's been missing for about 10 years.'_**  
*FLASHBACK EVEN FURTHER*  
**_ 'How was your day today love? School alright?' _Dorothy asked her daughter Janet after a day at school. _'School was fine. Veronica wasn't in though. I think she's ill.' _She looks into her school bag. _'Yeah she isn't very well love, her mother called me this morning telling me she wasn't going to be in. I forgot to tell you.' _Dorothy knew what had happened to Veronica, she didn't want to tell Janet as she was only six years old. Too young to understand what had happened to her.  
***FLASHBACKS OVER*  
**_'Janet, are you alright?' _Mitch asks her as she shivers. _'Yeah, I'm fine. Just had a cold shiver.' _Gill has left the room by now; it is only when Janet leaves the room to go and see Dave that Geoff will come in. _'My mum never told me about Veronica, well she did but ten years later. I was never really that close to her. She was a friend but not my best friend. We would walk home from school together. We would sometimes see her when we went shopping with her mum and Geoff. Mum was never really keen on Geoff; she always said it was like he had a secret looming over him, like he was hiding something. I guess she was right. She would always joke that he loved me; he was really protective over me when we were growing up. I remember when she did tell me, I had just got home from school and she told me they had found her body. She knew for 10 years that she was gone. I remember I went home one day when I was six and I told mum that she wasn't in. The last time I saw her was the day before that.' _She sighs.  
She walks out of the room and goes next door leaving Mitch to go over his own notes and make sure everything is in check. She hadn't checked the other file, she knew exactly what was in it, and there was no reason for her to look in it yet. _'Are you ready?' _Dave asks her. She nods in reply. He gets his phone out of his pocket and dials a number. _'Bring him down, we are ready for him...' _he continues to talk but Janet switches off. She doesn't listen to him normally, why would she start now? He hangs up the phone and looks at Gill. She gets up and walks out with Janet. _'Geoff is in the room with Mitch and his lawyer. They are ready for you whenever you are ready. At any point during the interview, if you think it is getting to tough, if you think he is pushing you or if you think it isn't going anywhere, you can stop it. You can walk out as long as you say on the tape that you are walking out. You can give me a sign and I can step in. Mitch is always there for you, if you need him. He has been through the same training that you have. I will be next door with Andy; Dave will stay for the first half an hour.' _Janet processes what Gill just said to her. _'Okay, thank you. I've got it under control. The sooner we start it the sooner we can stop.' _Gill gives Janet a quick hug and turns away into the room next door.  
Janet is left standing at the door; she takes a deep breath and walks in. She closes the door behind and walks to her seat. She hasn't yet looked at Geoff. Once she takes a seat and opens her note pad she looks up. Geoff is sitting opposite her with a huge smile on his face. _'Geoff.' _Janet can feel her chest tighten. _'Hello Janet.' _The first thing she notices about him is that he has got a black eye, it was purple. He looks tired as well, like he hadn't slept for days. _'You've got a black eye?' _Geoff replies with a simple _'Yeah.' _Janet looks over her notes. She picks up Veronica's file. _'Now Geoff we both know why you are here. You told your clinical psychologist things about other murders in addition that we already know about, and that you wanted to tell me about the murders you have committed. Geoff you need to know that this interview is being recorded. And if at any time you want to talk to your solicitor then that's fine.' _Geoff nods. _'It is believed that one of those murders that you committed was that of your little sister Veronica. Can you tell me about that?' _Geoff looks around the room, looking for an excuse not to tell Janet. He couldn't find one. _'It was an accident. We were just playing with each other, mum was out and we were watching TV together. She took the remote so I went over to try and get it back, she wouldn't let me have it. In the end I sat on her. She was holding onto the remote so tightly. Finally she let go and when I got off her she wasn't moving. I didn't understand why. So I put her into a wheelbarrow and pushed her to the bottom of the garden and dumped her in the canal.' _Janet was taking notes at the time; she looked over at Mitch who looked shocked. He passed her a note. _'I think he's lying.' _Janet wrote on the note a reply. _'I think he's lying too, we should try to get more out of him.' _She passes the note back to Mitch, he reads it and nods. _'You see Geoff; we have a problem with your little story. What you have told us doesn't exactly fit in with what the evidence is telling us. So can you please tell me the truth?'  
_It was like this for another few minutes; Geoff was refusing to tell Janet anything that had happened to Veronica. _'What we are here for today Geoff is the information that you have hinted at Dr Heinz.' _He was so hooked onto the lie that he had created it was too late for him to turn back. _'Okay, so let's move on' _She flicks through the questions she has written on the note pad in front of her. _'How are the girls?' _He asks her, Janet things it's a way to get out of answering her questions. _'They are very well thank you.'_ Geoff nods. _'How's Adrian?' _Janet hesitates. _'He's fine.'_ Geoff looks at her with a questioning look. _'You don't sound too sure. I always got the impression that you were bored with him.' _Janet begins to lose her patience; she doesn't let him know that though. _'Geoff, we aren't here to talk about me. You said to you psychologist about Veronica and four other victims.' _Geoff looks at his hands. _'There were twelve in total...actually there were fifteen.' Janet and Mitch both look at each other, Mitch writes the notes down. 'You see I always thought you were having a fling with that sergeant that you introduced me to.' _Janet panics more. _'I need you to stay focused Geoff, on yourself. Not on me.' He starts smiling at her 'Well last time I saw you, you and him were very close. He was very protective over you. He didn't like me; I know that for sure, he was so nasty to me. What was his name, Andy?' _Geoff began to think. _'Andy Roper' _he shouts. Janet knew what was coming next. _'Yeah well Andy had his suspicions about you all along, I guess he was right.' He starts to laugh 'Of course, that explains everything. You were having it off with him weren't you? You were doing it with him behind your husband's back. Where's your ring Janet? Have you taken it off because you aren't with Ade anymore?' _Janet could feel the rage going through her blood. _'Geoff you asked to come here and speak to me about the murders that you have committed. If you carry on there isn't much point in continuing this conversation. I am terminating this interview at eleven minutes past the hour.' _Janet storms out the room and slams the door shut behind her. She runs out to the stairwell where Gill is found running after her.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

'_Janet, please wait.' _Gill calls out to her friend as she is running up the stairs trying to catch her up. Janet stops at the top of one flight of stairs. She puts her back up against the wall and puts her head into her hands. _'That went so well' _Janet says sarcastically through the gaps between her fingers. _'I don't think its half as bad as you are making it out to be' _Gill looks at Janet and puts her hand on her shoulder. _'What do you mean it's not bad? I've blown it; I blew it in the first five minutes.' _Gill smiles at Janet, _You haven't blown it, and you're doing great.' _Janet's eyes begin to water a little. _'I've made a total fool of myself in front of everyone...' _her voice begins to break into a crying tone _'...and now you all know something about me that I would really prefer none of you to know.' _She begins to cry; tears fall down her red cheeks and land on her jumper. Andy opens the door at the top of the stairs; he walks down past Janet and Gill. Janet looks away and wipes the tears from her cheek. Andy looks at her, he still loves her. Gill glares at him and signals for him to continue walking with her head. _'Janet, I think you are over thinking this. There's nothing wrong with it. Dave is having a word with everyone now, they aren't going to mention it. I didn't know about you and Andy though. Does Ade know at all?' _Janet hasn't told Gill yet that she and Ade have split up. Now is the time to do so. _'Me and Ade have split up. We have been for a while now and I didn't tell you because you've always got enough on.' _Gill is in shock. She doesn't know what to say. Out of everyone that she knew Janet and Ade were the longest people married, she went to their 25th anniversary party last year. _'Why?' _She asks with a slight crackle in her voice. _'I don't really want to talk about it right now, I will tell you after we have finished this Geoff business if that's alright?' _She looks desperately at Gill, tears still sitting on her face. Gill nods. _'I'm sorry. Yeah that's fine. Is it because of Andy?' _Janet laughs. _'Don't be. No. No, gawh, god no. It wasn't because of him, he's done nothing wrong.'_ Gill takes it all in. _'Okay, if you want to talk about it once you have finished for the day you can come to my office to talk. I'm always here for you to talk to. I just want you to know that. I'm never too busy for you.'_ Janet smiles appreciatively. _'Thanks Gill. I better get back. Sorry about what just happened.' _Gill goes in for a hug. Both she and Janet squeeze each other. Gill walks out; Janet is still standing, leaning against the wall.  
_'Are you ready to go back in?' _Mitch is standing outside the door waiting for Janet to come back. _'He is still in there, his solicitor had a word with him, and he shouldn't do it again anytime soon.' _Janet nods and looks at Mitch, he goes into the room. Janet prepares herself to go in. She takes a deep breath and opens the door. _'Right, so you implied to your psychologist that you have murdered a number of women, can you tell me about that?' _Geoff begins to chuckle. _'Geoff, we don't see how this is funny. Can you please tell me about the other women?' _Geoff's laugh turns into a slight hum. _'You know what Janet? You could have been one of those women. I had so many opportunities to kill you but I chose not to, do you know why?' _Janet shakes her head. _'It's because I liked you. You never really seemed to be a threat; you just bobbed along nicely with your perfect little life. When Veronica died I could have killed you there and then but I didn't. You were the only exception.' _Janet continues to write her notes. She looks at him and takes her glasses off. _'That's great Geoff; can you please get back to the question I asked you? The quicker you answer this question the quicker we can move on.' _  
_'There isn't much to say about the women really...' _Geoff began to think_ '...They were all blonde and rather good looking I guess. I think because they fought so hard it sort of attracted me to them more. I like a woman who can fight.' _Janet has a flashback to when she was fighting with Geoff down her hallway trying to get the knife from him. Janet began to feel uneasy, she could feel her hands shaking and her stomach was turning inside out. _'Geoff...'_ her mouth goes dry; she picks up her bottle of water and takes a drink. _'Geoff, I think it's best that we move on...' _She looks through the folder. _'Did you know any of these women before you killed them?' _She pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose and looks at him. _'Apart from Veronica, no I didn't know any other them.' _Janet nods as she writes the notes on her notepad. _'So why did you do it?' _She says this as she is still writing, she sniffs. This was obviously a touchy subject for Janet as she realises that she could have been one of his victims but she was 'lucky' because Geoff liked her. Geoff smirked at Janet; she could see that she was playing directly into Geoff's hands. She looks up at Mitch, he gives her a sympathetic look.  
_'Geoff I think its best that we move on. We aren't making any progress here. We can come back to this later.' _She shakes her head. Everyone could see that she was annoyed. _'Now if it's okay with you and your solicitor I am going to be moving onto the second case file.'_ She looked at both of them as they nodded simultaneously. Janet reaches to the table and grabs the other folder replacing it with the one in her hand. She opens it and looks at what it has written inside.

**Manchester Police Department  
Law Enforcement Incident Report  
Case File 2**

Page 1 of 2

**INCIDENT DATA**

Incidence type: **Attempted Murder  
**Address of Occurrence: 20 Clough Road  
**Oldham, Greater Manchester  
**Date Reported: **09/06/11  
**Time Reported: **1634 **HRS  
Officer Assaulted or killed: **Yes  
**Weapon or Object Used: **KITCHED KNIFE  
**Reporting Officer: **DC Rachel Bailey  
**Other Officers Notified: **DCI Gill Murray  
DS Andy Roper  
DC Kevin Lumb  
DC Ian Mitchell**

****

Arrival Time: **1637 HRS**  
Time of Call: **1634  
**Processed by: **DC Rachel Bailey  
**Domestic: **No  
**Arson Related: **No  
**Officer Injured: **Yes**

**VICTIM**

Name: **SCOTT, JANET  
**Date of Birth: **21/03/64 **Age: **47  
**Home Address: **20 CLOUGH ROAD**  
**OLDHAM, GREATER MANCHESTER **Occupation: **Detective Constable  
Manchester Police  
**

Sex: **FEMALE **Place of Birth: **OLDHAM  
**Marital Status: **MARRIED**

**KNOWN SUSPECT**

Name: **HASTINGS, GEOFF  
**Date of Birth: **06/07/60  
**Home Address: **52 MARKS LANE  
OLDHAM, GREATER MANCHESTER  
**Occupation: **WORKER IN NEWSAGENTS **

Physical Description: (Age): **51  
**(Height): **165-172  
**(Weight): **132 lbs  
**Build: **MED  
**Eye Colour: **BRO  
**Injured: **UNKNOWN**

Relation: ** FORMER FRIEND  
**Sex: **MALE **Place of Birth: **OLDHAM  
**Marital Status: **SINGLE **

Hair Colour: **BRO/GRY  
**Hair Length: **SHORT/MEDIUM  
**Facial Hair: **NONE**

**Charges  
**Attempted Murder of DC Janet Scott.  
Assault of Police Officer

She reads what is written inside. It feels like she has been punched in the stomach, her face drops. _'So now Geoff we are going to talk about what happened on the 9__th__ June 2011, tell me what happened then?' _Geoff know what Janet was talking about, he could hear the pain in her voice. _'I didn't mean to hurt you Janet, not in the way that I did anyway.' _Janet flicks through the pages in the file, she tries to not think about what happened to her. There is a sharp pain in her side, where Geoff stuck the knife into her. _'Yeah Geoff, I'm sure you didn't.' _There is a slight tone of sarcasm in her voice as she says it. _'You don't believe me, do you? I mean I don't blame you if you don't believe me. Why would you trust me, I'm just a killer.' _Janet is in shock. She clears her throat. _'Can you please tell me what your intensions were the day you arrived at _20_ Clough Road?' _Geoff was at a loss for words. _'To be completely honest I'm not entirely sure. I wasn't planning on killing anyone, that's for sure. It was all just a huge misunderstanding and I'm sorry for what I did to you.' _  
Gill was sitting next door in front one of the screens. _'Don't believe him Janet; you must know that the bastard is playing you...' _Rachel walks into the room. _'Boss, is it alright if I sit in with you and watch Jan for awhile? Pete told me about what happened. I told him not to tell anyone else, he said he won't.' _She stands by the door as Gill makes her decision. _'Yeah, come and sit down. They've just got onto Janet's case notes. I offered to do them for her but he insisted on me letting her do them for herself. I have a feeling that something bad may happen sometime soon. I don't know what but Geoff is pushing it and she could break any minute. If something does happen again we will call it a day and come back tomorrow. We've got more than enough information for one day. I suggest if something does happen again, that you go and help her.' _Rachel takes a seat next to Gill and watches the monitor, watching Janet in particular. She could see what this was doing to her.  
_'Right Geoff, can you please tell me exactly what happened, from your perspective?' _Janet gives him a cold smile. _'Well I went round a friend's house for a chat; she offered me a cup of tea. The phone rang and she answered it. I could only hear her side of the conversation but I knew what they were saying to each other. So I just panicked. You have to understand Janet, I was just scared.' _Janet looks at Mitch, her eyes are slightly watering. She looks at the second page of the report.

**Manchester Police Department  
Law Enforcement Incident Report  
Case File 2**

Page 2 of 2

**STATEMENT- DC Rachel Bailey**

I rang DC JANET SCOTT home telephone number at 1631HRS. At the time I was not aware that GEOFF HASTINGS was with her, he had not yet injured her at this point. We spoke for awhile about work. I said to her 'It's GEOFF (HASTINGS).' She replied with 'What's GEOFF (HASTINGS)?' It is believed that this is when GEOFF HASTINGS picked up a KITCHEN KNIFE from the side in the kitchen. DC JANET SCOTT said to me down the phone 'He's (GEOFF HASTINGS) got a (KITCHEN) KNIFE.' This is when I got DCI GILL MURRAY and drove went straight to DC JANET SCOTT's house (20 CLOUGH ROAD). We arrived at 1637HRS and the front door was open, GEOFF HASTINGS had got away and DC JANET SCOTT was lying on the floor at the bottom of her stairs with a STAB IN HER SIDE and A SLICE ACROSS HER CHEEK. I went to sit behind her as DCI GILL MURRAY stayed in the car awaiting the arrival of DS ANDY ROPER who carried her into the car. I sat in the back of the car with her as we drove to the hospital. She went into surgery that day.

**STATEMENT- DCI GILL MURRAY**

I was not aware that GEOFF HASTINGS was at DC JANET SCOTT's house until DC RACHEL BAILEY notified me that she was in danger. When we were at her house I stayed in the car and let DC RACHEL BAILEY go in and see her, DS ANDY ROPER carried her into the car. She rested on DC RACHEL BAILEY as we drove to the hospital. I went in to see her when she was first taken into hospital for the operation. I then went outside to tell DC RACHEL BAILEY what was going to happen to her.

**STATEMENT- DC JANET SCOTT**

There was a knock at my door; I got up to get it. I was working from home at the time, looking over the case notes from when VERONICA HASTINGS died. I saw GEOFF HASTINGS at the door so I invited him in. At the time none of us were aware it was him that had any participation in anything. I was making him a cup of tea. We were talking and the phone rang. I picked up and it was DC RACHEL BAILEY. I said 'Hello (DC) RACHEL (BAILEY).' We spoke for a few moments when she said 'It's GEOFF (HASTINGS)' and then I said 'What's GEOFF (HASTINGS)?' by that time he had grabbed a KITCHEN KNIFE and came after me. We wrestled through the kitchen and hall way. My main goal was to take the knife off him, or at least try to before he hurt either of us. He CUT MY CHEEK. We fought over it a little more and that is when he stabbed me. I was left lying on the floor bleeding. Then DC RACHEL BAILEY came though my door and sat with me. DS ANDY ROPER carried me out into the car, DCI GILL MURRAY drove me to the hospital and DC RACHEL BAILEY sat in the back with me. We arrived at the hospital and I was put straight into surgery.

'_I understand that you panicked Geoff, I understand all of that. One thing is you didn't go to visit a friend, the relationship we had...' _Her voice began to break and tears started to form in the corners of her eyes. _'...was completely professional.' _Janet looks at her watch. She then looks at Mitch. _'I am pausing this interview at 16:38.' _She gets up and walks out of the room. _'Go now.' _Gill says to Rachel when they hear the door close behind Janet and heavy footsteps running.  
Rachel walks into the bathroom; this is the place where Janet and Rachel seem to have their heart to heart chats. Janet is crouching in the corner facing the wall. She is sobbing into her hands. Rachel goes up behind her and puts her hand on her shoulder making Janet jump. Janet turns around and stands up. _'I thought I would be alright Rach, I thought I had moved on.' _Rachel looks at Janet, her best friend. _'It's alright Jan, you've done great. You've made us all proud.' _  
Rachel holds out her arms, a gesture to Janet that she needs a hug. Janet goes up to her and falls into the hug. She cries harder and louder. Rachel pats Janet on the back and kisses her head. _'It's going to be okay.' _Tears slowly fall down Rachel's face.


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

'_I know what we should do tonight Jan, we go out and get so pissed that we don't remember a thing that's happened today.' _Rachel says to Janet as she wipes her eyes with tissue. _'As great of an idea that is Rach I don't think I can, with the girls being at home. Elise is worried about me enough as it is. Plus I think Gill wants to talk to me.' _Rachel looks in the mirror. _'What does she want to talk to you about?' _Janet shrugs and shakes her head. _'I haven't a clue, it could be about Ade. Geoff mentioned me and Andy, Gill didn't know. I think she wants to know why I'm not with him anymore.' _Rachel walks over to Janet. _'Are you going to tell her, you know everything that happened between you and him?' _She looks at Janet who is blowing her nose. _'I don't know, I don't want to but I know I should. I think if I talk to her about it, it may make me feel better and he will finally leave me alone.' _ Janet looks at Rachel; her eyes begin to well up again. _'I thought Andy had left you alone?' _She is now confused. _'Andy has, I'm talking about Ade. He keeps on showing up in my dreams Rach; he is standing there it is happening all over again...'_ tears are rolling down her face _'...every night something new happens. Last night I was in the bath and he pushed me under water, I was drowning and he just walked away as if nothing had happened...' _Rachel's face drops _'...I know none of it is real but I'm scared. Parts of the dream have actually happened to me, I think it's a way of saying that I'm lucky that I got away.'  
'Oh Jan, you have no reason to be scared. You got away from him, you are free from him, and he can't do it to you anymore.' _Janet nods. _'I know Rach, being with Geoff has made it all worse, I had a dream about him as well. You were in it as well; he's a bastard, that's all I can say.' _They both turn around and sigh. _'I know you don't want to go out tonight but I think we should, you obviously need it.' _Janet smiles and nods. _'I guess you are right.'_ She walks into the toilet and gets more tissue to wipe her face. She walks back out and smiles, she opens the door and they both walk out.  
Janet walks ahead of Rachel, as Rachel is walking she beings to think to herself. _'This is my friend, something else must be wrong, it can't just be Ade or Geoff or Andy, there must be something else, I've tried to ignore the signs but she's just getting worse, I'm afraid that I'm losing her, I'm worried about bringing it up. I just want my old friend back. She says she's fine but I don't believe her, I know that sounds awful but I've seen her better, I've seen her when she's happy. There isn't anything I can do though; she won't want to talk about it...' _Janet quickly turns around. _'Are you alright Rach?' _Rachel looks up at her. _'Yeah, I'm fine. Why?' _Janet laughs. _'You are just unusually quiet.'  
_They both walk into the office. Mitch is standing in Gill's office. Andy, Kevin and Pete are sitting at their desks. Kevin and Pete start to laugh. _'Grow up.' _Rachel shouts at them, she was angry. Janet sits at her desk and puts her head down. Andy looks towards her, his face still looks like he cares about her. Of course he knows everything that had happened in the interview, he feels sorry for her having to go through that. Mitch walks out of Gill's office; he walks over to Janet and crouches down beside her. He whispers in her ear _'Gill wants to talk to you. I hope you are alright; I'm not going to talk about it. I will make sure the others won't talk about it.' _He smiles at her sweetly; she returns the smile with an unconvincing smile. She gets up from her seat and knocks on Gill's door. _'Janet come in.' _She opens the door and closes it behind her. _'How are you?' _Gill is still looking at her computer and typing. _'I'm doing okay thank you.' _Janet knew Gill could tell that she wasn't okay, she could tell from the sarcastic tone of her voice. _'Can you please now tell me what is wrong, what happened between you and Ade?' _Gill removes her glasses; she looked straight into Janet's eyes, the pain flashed right across them. Tears stared to form in the corner of her eyes; she starts to look for words to say. _'Do you remember that day I came in and I had a bruise below my eye?' _Gill nods her head; she could see where this was going. _'Well,_ _I told you that I walked into a door...'_ she begins to whimper _'...well I...I...I wasn't exactly telling you truth, I didn't tell anyone the truth until a few weeks ago.' _Gill's eyes begin to water like Janet's; she didn't want this to happen. _'Ade always had a problem, if things didn't go his way he would take it out on the person he thought was closest to him. I was his...his...' _She begins to speak through her teeth, the pain was evident. _'...human punching bag.'  
'Janet I am so sorry.' _Gill is full on crying. _'If I had known I would have done everything in my power to help you.' _Janet swallows and shakes her head. _'You didn't know. I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want them to get involved. It was my problem.' _Gill passes Janet a tissue, she takes one for herself. _'Did he ever, you know, to the girls?' _She looks at Janet concerned. _'God no, he loved those girls. He would never want to hurt them.' _Gill let out a cry. _'He loved you too but he still hurt you. I saw the bruises, the cuts and the scars. I never said anything when I should have done. I'm sorry.' _Janet shakes her head frantically. _'Don't be, don't be sorry. You've done nothing wrong. I should have done something before it got too bad. I just lived with it. He didn't love me; he would tell me that he did. He would do things that you would do if you love someone, he just didn't love me. I know that for a fact.' _Gill looks heartbroken, knowing this about one of her oldest friends. _'Is that why you got with Andy?' _Janet nods her head. _'I just wanted someone to love me properly. I ruined that with him, I've broken his heart and there is no way I can fix any of this. I'm just in a situation where I am powerless and stuck, but I will be alright.' _Janet begins to compose herself. _'I better go, I said I would see the girls before they go to bed, they want to talk to me about everything that happened today.' _She stands up. _'Thanks Gill. I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about it before.' _ She sorts her clothes out and walks back into the office.  
_'Are you alright?' _Rachel asks Janet as she sits down. Janet nods.  
_'I will be fine.' _


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

'_I should have told her Rach, she should have known earlier. She may have been able to help me; she could have stopped it from happening.' _Janet says to Rachel over a glass of wine at the pub. _'What do you mean Jan? We've talked about this before; we both know there wasn't anything anyone could do to help you properly. As bad as that may sound.' _Janet nods with a clear understanding. _'I know Rach; there isn't anything she could have done. Nothing would have stopped him. Like Gill would say...' _she begins to smile and does her Gill impression _'...he's a twisted twat.' _Rachel lets out a huge chuckle. _'That wasn't too bad to be honest, with a little practise you will be an expert at it. But you are right in what you said, he is a twisted twat. He's more than that; he's a fucking twisted twat. I hate the man. I hate him more than Andy and that's saying something Jan.'_ Janet takes a huge sip of her red wine, wipes her mouth and nods her head. _'I know Rach; I know everything that you said is true. I can't help but feel bad for him. Something must have happened to him in his childhood to make him like this. People aren't just born sinister. Oh, I know how much you hate Andy. You've made that pretty clear all along.' _She sighs.  
_'You still miss him don't you?' _Janet nods and sighs harder. _'Why don't you just tell him that?'_ Rachel looks at Janet sympathetically with a slight glimmer of hope in her eyes. _'It's not that easy though is it? I only just had a huge go and him and said some things that I can't take back. I regret it but at the time it seemed to be the right thing to do. He treated me so much better then Ade ever did. I don't understand why I couldn't have just stayed with him.'_ Something catches Rachel from the corner of her eye. _'Speak of the devil and he shall appear. I bet his ears were just burning.' _She begins to laugh, a laugh that Janet had never heard before. There was a certain amount of satisfaction in her laugh. _'Should I go to speak to him?' _Rachel shrugs_ 'Is he looking this way?' _Rachel looks subtly towards the bar. _'No, no, no...' _She quickly looks at Janet. _'...he is now. I think he saw me looking at him_. _Act normal, he may just not come near us.' _Janet looks at Andy, she smiles at him. _'I think I need to talk to him Rach, I know I shouldn't but I have to. I will be back I promise. Don't get too pissed when I'm away, we can do that together.'_ She stands up and laughs to herself as she walks to the bar where Andy is standing. Andy starts to slowly walk away, to avoid another argument. _'Andy, I didn't come here to have ago at you. I just want to talk to you without having one of us having to start shouting and doing things they regret.' _Andy looks at Janet uncomfortably.  
_'Look Janet, I still love you. I don't think that will change any time soon. I just can't go through it all again, not that you aren't worth it. I've just been thinking about it all. I don't want to start another argument with you, that is the last thing I want to do. I can't explain now, not here anyway. Someday I will tell you everything, not just yet though.' _Janet processes what Andy has just said to her. She beings to nod. _'Andy, I didn't come to make you feel like shit, I didn't come to make you feel guilty. I came to apologise about what happened today with Geoff. He was out of line and I should have handled it so much better. I'm sorry if anyone said anything to you.' _Andy takes a step closer to Janet, he could smell her. He could feel his legs getting weaker so he leaned against the bar. _'I heard about that, I'm sorry it happened to you. You really didn't need that. Is everything cleared up now though?' _Janet nods uncertainly. _'Was that why you were talking to Gill on the stairs?' _Janet nods again. _'I told her about what had happened between you and me, I told her how Ade left and that he isn't coming back. It's all fine now, it's sorted.' _Andy thinks to himself. _'You know when you went into Gill's office, why were you crying when you came out? Was it because of the way I treated you?' _Janet smiles and shakes her head quickly. _'Of course it wasn't because of you. You treated me so well, better then my husband ever did. I don't have a bad word to say against you when it comes to the way you treated me. You were lovely, you are lovely. It was something else.' _  
_'Was it to do with the bruises on your wrists?' _He looks at one of her wrists which is resting on the bar top. She looks at it and pulls her sleeve down. _'Yeah.' _There is a slight tremor to her voice. Andy can see that she doesn't want to talk about it. _'It's okay, you don't have to tell me. I understand why you wouldn't. I'm still here for you if you ever want to talk. I won't tell anyone. Even though we aren't together anymore I won't see it as something it isn't.' _Janet smiles as if to say _'Thank you'. _She glances over to Rachel who is watching them. _'Andy I have to go, I'm here with Rachel and I've left her alone. I need to go back to her. Thank you though; I'm happy we have spoken to each other.' _She leans into Andy for a hug. He opens his arms and she squeezes him tightly.

'_Bye Janet.'_

Janet walks back to the table where Rachel is sitting. _'How did it go?' _she asks eagerly. _'Well you were watching. I saw you looking at us. Things are okay between us now, we sorted out our differences. We don't want to argue or to cause any problems with each other.' _Rachel smiles, she has got red wine stains on either side of her mouth, making her smile look wider. _'Yes it is good but I've broken him. He tried to hide it, he tried to not give it away but I could just see him breaking down on the inside. He asked about the bruises on my wrists.' _Rachel's face drops. _'You can't change the way he is feeling. Did you tell him the truth?' _Janet has her glass in her mouth; she takes it down and slams it on the table trying to swallow her mouth full of wine. _'Of course I didn't, I don't want to worry him. He won't understand that I've left that life behind. He will just want to know everything and I can't go through it all again.' _


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

'_Jan?' _Rachel asks Janet as she walked back from the bar with another bottle of wine in her hand. _'Yes Rach?' _she says as she sighs. _'What's happened to you? I don't mean it in a bad way; it's just from when I first met you to knowing you now there is a big difference. I understand that you have been through a lot and it's been hurting you, but it's all in the past. Can't you just try and move on?' _Janet beings to feel herself getting defensive, she doesn't know what to say. _'I know what you mean Rach, I understand completely. I just can't help it...' _Janet begins to get emotional, as does Rachel. _'...I mean, usually when things like this happens to me, I can just...shake it off but recently it's become so difficult and it feels like I can never move on, no matter how much I want to. I'm sorry, I'm sorry if I ruin your mood and make things difficult. I don't purposely try to make things awkward, it just happens, and there isn't anything I can do about it, unfortunately.' _Of course Rachel knew Janet was stuck in a situation that was difficult to get out of, not much could actually help her. _'Will you do a favour please Jan, for me?' _Janet glances up at her friend who has got tears rolling down her cheeks, for Rachel Bailey this never happens, she is always so strong. Janet has only ever seen her cry maybe twice and she's known her for a little while now. _'What do you want Rach?' _Janet asks with a slight quivering in her voice. _'Will you please go to the doctors? I mean I will go with you if you really want me there with you. I am worried and I can't stand seeing you like this any longer...' _Rachel breaks out into a whispering tearful voice _'...it's killing me to see you like this every day. You may say nothing is wrong but frankly I don't believe you when you say you are okay. I'm sounding like an awful friend when I say that but I can't stand seeing you in pain. You're good at hiding it from others but I can see the pain in your eyes when you speak to me.' _Janet takes everything in that Rachel has just said; she picks up her glass and takes a drink. _'I'm sorry for making you feel like this Rach. Friends shouldn't make each other feel this way, and for that I apologise. I've been thinking about going to the doctors myself but I don't know what to say to them when they ask me what's wrong. I've tried to write down how I feel, I suppose the best way for me to describe how I feel is nothing, I literally feel nothing inside me, like I am completely empty. I felt slightly better when Andy was around but now that he is gone I suppose I'm empty again.' _Janet looks around the room, it is beginning to fill up, all the tables are full and there are people at the bar. _'Rach, can we go somewhere else? I don't really feel comfortable talking about this stuff her to be honest.' _Rachel smiles as Janet looks around the room with a face of distress. _'Of course we can. We can go to mine, you can stay with me and we can just relax and talk. Does that sound okay?' _she smiles again trying to catch Janet's attention. _'Yeah, that is great. Thank you Rach, I really do love you.'_  
Rachel picks up her phone and rings for a taxi.Janet begins to think to herself. _'What am I going to do? I can't tell Rachel everything, she won't want to hear it all and I can't bother her with my problems any more. I know she cares; she cares in some ways to much about me. I'm not worth it. I mean look at me, I'm a middle-aged woman who works horrendous hours, hardly ever sees her children and when she does she is always too tired to do anything. My marriage got ruined after 25 years of marriage, which admittedly wasn't great but I suppose I couldn't get away. Which is a feeble excuse, I know...' _Rachel interrupts her trail of thought. _'Jan, the taxi is waiting outside.' _They stand, take their coats and run to the taxi. _'I will pay for it Jan, don't worry. You paid for the wine.' _Rachel smiles, Janet weakly smiles back.

Inside the taxi, there is complete silence.

As soon as the taxi arrives at Rachel's house Janet opens the taxi door and runs to the entrance of the house. Once Rachel had finished paying she walked over to the door. _'What was that all about?' _she asks with a concerned tone. _'What was what all about?' _Rachel lets out a little sigh. _'You know the running from the taxi to the door?' _Janet looks directly into Rachel's eyes _'It was too hot in the taxi, I thought I was either going to faint or throw up.' _This time, Janet was actually telling the truth. The taxi they had been in was rather hot and she hadn't eaten so that made things worse. _'Okay, as long as you weren't upset and you are okay now?' _Janet nods.  
Inside Rachel's house no one was around. _'Dom isn't here, he's at a mate's house and Sean is working all night. So we have the house to ourselves to talk properly. Are the girls at yours?' _Janet looks at Rachel. _'Not tonight, they are at Aid's. It's his turn to take them tonight. Although if Taisie knew I was with you right now she would be so jealous. I swear she actually loves you more than she loves me. She hates me most of the time.' _Janet lets out a faint laugh. _'Elise on the other hand is a being a little sweet heart. She's like you though; she also thinks something is wrong with me, like I am hiding something from her. She's my daughter; I'm not going to tell her everything.' _Rachel brings over two glasses of wine and two packets of crisps to Janet who is sitting on the sofa.  
_'So Janet, what's wrong?'_  
Janet sighs deeply. _'Where do you want me to begin?'_

'_From the very beginning, don't miss a detail.' _Rachel says to her best friend.


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

'_It all depends on what you want to know really Rach.' _Janet says over her glass of wine. _'There's quite a bit that has happened.' _Janet half smiles, as if to say _'please don't ask about any of this. I don't want to talk about this.' _

'_So how did you meet?' _Rachel asks Janet as they sit together on the sofa facing each other. _'Meet who, Ade?' _Rachel smiles and shakes her head. _'No Andy. He obviously loves you more than anything; he just won't admit it anymore.' _Janet looks around the room; Rachel has hit a sensitive nerve. Tears being to form in her eyes, she didn't want this to happen but she couldn't help it. _'We met at police training, he was beautiful Rach. Well he still is but you know. I didn't see him for years, about 10 I think. When I got a job at MIT we sort of met up again. We didn't speak at first; it was that sort of awkward thing. I went out with him for a while, it was the best thing. I don't even know why I left him then Rach. He was, and still is, so much better then Ade ever has been to me. He made me feel perfect about myself; Ade on the other hand got enjoyment out of seeing me in pain...' _She looks down at her glass and then back up to Rachel. _'...I miss him Rach, I miss him so much. He was one thing that made me feel slightly happy when I was feeling, well like this. What's wrong with me? Why can't I just be happy with him?' _Rachel is clueless; she doesn't know what to say to her. _'Does he actually know how you really feel about him?' _Rachel asks her, she's trying to get her head around what she has just been said. _'I don't know. I wouldn't be surprised if he does hate me. I've broken his heart and there isn't anything I can do to fix it. Why would he even want me again? All I seem to do is hurt him and Rach...' _she pauses and takes a deep breath _'...I can't do that to him anymore. It's not right for me to do it to him again. It's difficult to explain how I really feel.' _Rachel tilts her head and smiles. _'It's alright Jan; you don't have to explain yourself. I know this is difficult for you. I just want you to be okay.'  
_Usually, Janet and Rachel talks about everything, they have no boundaries.For some strange reason Janet wasn't being _'herself' _as Rachel used to say, she was quiet and reserved at work, not that she was the loudest person in the office anyway but she was quieter than normal. The other day for example, Pete went up to Janet asking her if she was alright. This never happened, Pete and Janet don't really talk that much suggesting something must have been wrong with her. Of course, Janet being Janet she just said that she was_ 'fine' _and nothing was worrying her. She tends to be like that, she doesn't like to think people are noticing something is wrong with her.  
_'So what made you want to get with Ade?' _Rachel at this point is a little confused with Janet's life, it is obvious things haven't been great in her life. She just doesn't like to talk about things like this. _'Right place right time I suppose. He seemed to be the only person who wanted me. I mean look at me Rach...'_ Rachel looks at Janet who is staring into her eyes. _'...I'm not exactly what you call gorgeous am I. I'm not like you. Also at first he seemed really nice and sweet, but I suppose people are always nice when you first meet them, then after a while you get to see their true colours don't you?' _Rachel laughs at Janet. _'Oh Jan, you do make me laugh sometimes...' _This wasn't the response Janet was hoping for. _'...I didn't mean it in a bad way but you are so gorgeous. You just don't feel it. I don't blame you through; you've been with a bastard that has treated you like shit for the past few years. You deserve so much better then what you had, as much as Andy wasn't my favourite person, he was good for you and he obviously loved you and you loved him. You should go back to him Jan, I know you don't want to but it may make you better.' _Rachel says to her with a look of concern.

'_I know Rach, I know. And I miss him. I just want him to be there for me even though I've hurt him.' _She cries.


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36

_"Do you think I should try and talk to him Rach?"_ Rachel looked at Janet with a crisp hanging out of her mouth._ "Who?"_ She finishes the crisp and wipes her mouth. Janet looks at her with raised eyebrows. _"Oh Andy. Of course Andy we've just spent hours talking about him." _She gives a little giggle. By this point Rachel has had far more amounts of wine then Janet. Although Janet plans on getting drunk she cannot shake the thought of Andy out of her head. She lets out a sigh. _"You really don't know what to do, do you?" _Rachel says to Janet, almost in a state of disbelief. Janet shakes her head. "I can't even get my head to think properly about anything in general at the moment, let alone something like this. It's not that it's difficult, I just want to do it properly so I can just say it and then go, and move on if I have to." She scratches her stomach. A little sound of pain comes from the gaps between her teeth. Rachel looks at Janet's face, her hands are on the table tensed. Her eyes are squeezed shut and her teeth are gritted. _"Are you alright Jan?"_ Says a little voice, almost like a whisper across the table._ "Uh huh, hang on a moment Rach. I'll be fine in a minute." _

A few moments pass and Janet is still in pain but she begins to lift her head slowly._ "Sorry about this Rach, it still sometimes, very rarely, gives me pain. I'm not sure why, the doctors said it may take a while to heal completely and properly due to the placement and depth of the cut. It's okay though" _she tries to smile convincingly. _"I'm okay."_ Rachel doesn't believe her. She knows not to it comes to things like this. When Janet was I'm hospital Gill gave a little speech for her, it wasn't much. Rachel can't really remember it all. All she does remember was when Gill said_ "I know a lot of you don't know Janet on a really personal level, only a few of us are lucky enough to know her that well. I feel like it is our job to look after her if and when she comes back. Janet isn't the type of woman who would dwell on the past about things she can't change, she moves on and lives her life. It's been difficult for her at the moment, we need to remember that she almost gave up her life for the job which she does so well, the job that makes us all proud. If I'm going to be honest, I've never been more proud of someone in my life." _

There's silence at the table, the only sounds which can be heard is the heavy breathing of Janet. Rachel can't take her eyes off of Janet. _"Jan, would you show me the scar. You know the Geoff one?" _She tries to smile. _"I mean if you don't want to it's okay."_ Janet interrupts._ "It's fine Rach, you can have a look if you really want to. Ignore whatever else you see and don't ask me about it. I won't answer."_ The reason Janet wouldn't answer to anything else is because the bruises which are covering her stomach, making it look black, blue and purple were all made by Ade once Janet got home from the hospital after the operation. "_Okay. I won't ask anything, I promise." _

Janet quickly drinks the rest of her wine in the glass and staggers over the bedroom. Rachel quickly follows._ "Are you sure you want to see it?" _Rachel nods. Janet undoes the buttons on her blouse and takes it off, due to the cold weather Janet was wearing a vest over her bra. She slowly lifts the bottom of the vest, revealing to Rachel the scar the was left by Geoff Hastings, the scar that was causing her so much pain. _"So what do you think?" _Rachel can't take her eyes off of it. _"Hello, Rach? Are you there?"_ Rachel snaps out of her staring, she bursts into tears. Janet quickly jumps up. _"Rach, no please don't cry. It's all okay." _She runs over to her and wraps her arms around her. _"There is no need to cry Rach. I'm fine, I survived didn't I? It's all okay." _

There's silence.

_"I'm really sorry Jan." _Janet lets out a little reassuring laugh. _"Rach, you have no reason to be sorry. You've done nothing wrong. You did everything you could, you followed what had to be done. You've done me proud Rachel. Not everyone can say their best friend saved their life. Okay, please stop crying. I hate seeing you like this." _She puts her hand up to Rachel's face, she wipes away the tears and smiles.

Once Rachel had calmed down they both laid on the bed next to each other. _"I wasn't sure if you were going to make it you know Jan. I didn't want to think that but when we were on your floor and you just laying there, I couldn't help but think it. All that blood which you lost, all the pain the was caused, it's awful when I think about it. I shouldn't have been like that, I should have had more faith in you surviving rather than you dying. Those few moments when we were in the car I thought was going to be our last. That broke my heart a million times over. I know I only knew you then for a few months but you had already grown on me, seeing you in the state which we were practically broke me. If it wasn't for Gill I would have been an emotional wreck, and I know you didn't need that." _She lets out a big sigh and looks at Janet who is listening to every word Rachel was saying. _"I don't blame you for thinking that. I thought I was going to die, as soon as I saw the knife I thought I was going to die there and then. Luckily you came for me, you saved me. You have no reason to feel guilty. You were perfect, I don't remember anything after the stabbing. Andy told me afterwards what you had done for me. If anything I should thank you for saving my life." _

_"Have you ever read Macbeth Jan?" _Janet is a little confused with this question._ "I have yes, but I don't see how that has anything to do with what we were talking about."_

Rachel tries to find the words to say.


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37

_ "You know in MacBeth there is the famous moment where Lady MacBeth is trying to clean the blood from her hands?"_ Rachel beings to quote the scene _"Out, damned spot! out, I say!—One: two: why, then, 'tis time to do't.—Hell is murky!—Fie, my lord, fie! a soldier, and afeard? What need we fear who knows it, when none can call our power to account?—Yet who would have thought the_ _old man to have had so much blood in him?' I know that isn't exactly what happened Jan, but when I was sitting with you in the back of the car with your blood all over me I didn't think twice. As soon as you were gone I was left covered in it, I tried washing my hands and it all came off but I could still feel it." _Rachel begins to cry. _"I didn't get changed until I found out that you were alright. I stood in that car park for 5 hours with Andy waiting to find out if you were going to make it. I was worried that you weren't going to. Andy was so strong but I could see that it was killing him. Gill was in the hospital waiting for you. As soon as she came out I thought I was bad mood. It was easy to tell that she had been crying. She walked over to us looking down, when she reached us she lifted her head and said 'she's going to make it'. I cried, I cried so hard." _She wipes her face. Janet is looking at Rachel, following her every word. A single tear is rolling down her face and dripping off the side of her chin onto her vest. _"I'm sorry Janet, I know you don't need to hear this from me, I'm just not sure how to handle it sometimes, it all becomes a bit much. And with everything that has happened with Geoff it makes it that much harder."_

What Janet isn't aware of is that as soon as Rachel found out Janet was going to be okay she got changed into some clothes that the hospital gave to her and she went and sat with Janet. She was there for days, the whole time Janet being unconscious. Gill has never told Janet that, they all agreed they wouldn't tell her. She didn't go home once, she hardly ate or drank, she never got changed or showered. She just sat beside her talking for hours and hours, days on end. She missed two weeks off of work on unpaid leave just so she could stay with Janet. Only Rachel, Andy and Gill know this is what happened.

***flashback* **_"Janet, you are going to be okay. I won't let anything ever happen to you."_ Rachel squeezes Janet's hand tightly. _"This shouldn't have happened to you, you did nothing to deserve this. I promise you, I will catch him, I will hunt him down and he will be sent down for a long time." _Tears begin to form in the corner of her eyes. _"Please Janet, just be okay. Please, please, please. I don't want anything to happen to you. You are the most important person in my life, and I wouldn't know what to do without you." _Gill walks in the room. She sees Rachel burrowing her head into Janet's hand and she can hear her delayed breathing. She goes over to Rachel and places her hand on her shoulder and kisses her on the back of the head. _"She's going to be okay. Don't worry, I won't let anything happen to her." _Rachel looks up, her eyes are hanging out of her head, big black bags have formed under her eyes and her nose is running. _"You should go and get some sleep Rachel."_ Rachel sighs and holds Janet's hand tighter. _"I know I should but I can't leave her alone, I can't risk not being here just incase." _***flashback finishes***

_"Rachel, you shouldn't feel like you have to carry all my problems on you. I can handle Geoff, I mean it's difficult but I can do it. If I let him get the better of me then I will get no where. I really do love you Rach, more then you will ever know."_ Janet turns around in bed and faces Rachel. _"No one that I have ever known, besides you, would have done anything that you don't for me. I remember sitting in the back of the car not knowing what to think, my main thought was how was I going to make my way through it if my best friend wasn't there. You were there for me Rach, the nurse said you were there everyday. I appreciate you for it. I don't remember it but I know I owe you a lot for being there for me."_ She smiles at Rachel, who is smiling back at her._ "We are all fine Rachel, we made it to the other side. We beat the odds." _

Rachel sits up in bed and tucks her knees under her chin._ "Janet, you have to sort it out with Andy. I've been thinking this evening, he's the best thing that has happened to you, it would be stupid of you to let something this good slip away from you. He was there for you when you were in hospital, he helped Ade with the girls, he babysat some nights when Ade had to sort his dad out and when he had other plans. He was literally your saving grace. Balancing all of that with work, he cares. He loves you Jan. He still loves you, even after everything that has happened. I can tell. Please just talk to him and try to sort it out. You will be so much happier. I don't want you ending up with someone like Ade again. Plus, he's better than Gill's Dave. He's a tosser."_Janet lets out a big laugh. _"Rachel Bailey, my best friend. You are to sweet, did you know that? You are honestly amazing…"_ Janet begins to become more serious._ "…I just don't know what to do, I love Andy, I love him so much. More then I have ever loved anyone else. I don't know what to say to him, I don't really deserve his forgiveness in any way. I was the horrible one, I told him to go away when really I needed him the most." _She sighs. _"Just text him saying that you want to talk to him."_ She smiles.

_"Right, okay. I suppose I could do that." _

Janet reaches over to her phone. She opens a new text message, scrolls down to the contact which says 'Andy Roper' she selects and begins to type.

_"Andy, I am so sorry. Janet xxx" _

She presses send.

_"Now we can only wait and see."_


End file.
